Hi my name is...

Soooo....

2012-01-08T14:06:00.001-08:00

I don't even know where to start. I got married, I had a baby (he is 6 months old now), I'm in school and about 8 months away from graduating.

Whew! That was a lot for one sentance. Life sure has been busy, busy, busy.

Life has also hit us some HUGE curve balls but we are chugging along.

I'm working on a healthier me right now and thought I'd fire the ole blog back up.

So I'm making daily goals.

Today my goal is to keep drinking more water and eat at least one healthy meal. That meal is dinner. We are having steaks, but a lean cut and these http://www.ezrapoundcake.com/archives/4685 I'll let you know how they taste.

I worked out yesterday for 20 mins of the 30 min work out DVD I pulled out. Not too shabby.

I need to get to this thing more often....

2010-08-09T07:59:00.000-07:00

the thing is though that I'm not sure what to write these days.

I should have blogged my whole wedding process what fun that would have been to look back upon one day!

Speaking of the wedding is in less than 3 weeks!

I'm going to make a huge effort to blog and maybe not have a real focus for now. I am thinking on having a specific focus for this blog but I haven't quite decided yet.

So what is it I have been up to?

2010-04-13T09:06:00.001-07:00

I'm getting married that's what!

Proposal was magical and beautiful from my thoughtful man a few days before V-day this year and we plan on getting married August 27, 2010.

Wedding planning can be a lot of work, it can be stressful but also FUN! It doesn't have to be a lot of work though, simplicity is about it right now, simiple and frugal without tacky can be done.

Just thought I should update in case anyone ever still reads :)

We are thrilled and that includes dd as well.

Getting Healthy!

2009-08-13T03:43:00.000-07:00

I have this goal, I want to be healthy. I've been sick on and off for some time now. Not really knowing why I am getting sick so often and not just your run of the mill cold, allergies, and sinuses. I've had weird things like mesenteric adenitis (and I had this fairly recently not as a child), or lots of bladder infections (like the one I have right now), and all sorts of other things pneumonia included. Because of other symptoms I had 3 years ago I've been tested for lots of things. They come back normal or borderline but not enough to give a diagnosis of any kind.

I'm gaining weight like no tomorrow. In one month time I gained 8 pounds, EIGHT, yes EIGHT pounds. I'm tired, I'm unhealthy, I'm unfit. I need to change what I can. Starting Sunday I'm going to be 'dieting' or eating way healthy, I'm also going to be exercising (oh lawdy help me, please). I have already been doing some of this but the scales say I'm not doing enough to even keep myself at the current overweight status I was.

I'd love to loose 86 pounds but I'd settle for even 70 pounds and then going from there and seeing how I feel and what not. Losing 70 pounds will put me right in the middle of my weight range for a healthy weight for my health, 86 pounds will put me at the low end of that range and will make me entirely happy.

I won't make this blog all about my weight loss goals and exercising but I will be blogging about it. I hope that I can count on some support through it all.

Goal setting...

2009-08-09T03:39:00.001-07:00

I'm on a major goal setting kick lately, I think I feel inspired or motivated for some of these goals. I know though from past experience changing too much too fast will be a sure fire way for me to throw in the towel.

I have three major goals right now:

1) Getting my side business up and running
2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
3) Getting my finances in order

With these things in mind, I'm trying to decide how to go about them best. I think blogging along the way about them will help keep me on track and stay motivated, plus be accountable. Can I count on all of you to help keep me accountable?

So what I've been doing lately to reach these goals

1) Getting my side business up and running
a) Did my first paid job, it wasn't much but it was something and asking for a testimonial
b) Making a mental plan to set up a website

2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
a) Joined sparkpeople.com
i) Created my profile & personal page
ii) Set up my weight loss goals and target date
iii) Posted an intro on the introductory boards

3) Getting my finances in order
a) Blogging on my other blog, How I Became a Fiscal Fussbudget
b) Held a garage sale
c) Started work on an improved budget
d) See goal #1 ;)

Expect to see more from me in the coming days, weeks, months..... I want to make sure I'm goal setting. For now I'm just going to write down my goals and what I can do in the short term to reach those goals. I don't want to get overwhelmed with long term goals since organizing and this whole proper goal setting/reaching is newer to me.

Oh, and if someone can tell me how to do this whole indentation of my a),b),c) and i),ii), iii) that would be wonderful! I couldn't figure it out and its still too early to try to do so.

Frugal Vacation for the limited budget....

2009-08-04T04:42:00.001-07:00

So I have vacation time scheduled in just about 2 weeks.

There is nothing planned, the money just isn't there. As a single parent I can't justify spending money that isn't there. Add in that Christmas is just really around the corner and YIKES!!!

We are going to have a staycation in a way but... a lot of people that do staycations jam pack it with local things to do. I don't know that we'll do much of anything.

My aunt and uncle have generously offered up their trailer at their camp ground for 2-3 days during the week and it isn't that far we may do that. All the equipment is there so really all I need is the cost to get in for each time we leave and come back (I think it is about $5), food, and gas money. Not so bad.

We also have a wave pool that is nearby it's $5 to get into the State park (I didn't get a pass this year) and $3 for each person to swim. We can bring our own picnic lunch.

When looking at it this way we'll have plenty to do and still have a relaxing time. Honestly... relaxing is what I want the most... my kid wants fun and adventure so we can have a combo of both.

We now live with my boyfriend and so it is a little easier to be able to spend a bit more freely with someone sharing the bills... but in order for us to all live together we had to upgrade the apartment, meaning I needed more than just one bedroom so we did that. Even with the added expense of the extra room its still cheaper in rent for me so thats good. That said things were just scrapping by most months and heaven forbid an emergency happens like the car breaking down. I'd rather make a cushion so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and that's going to take quite a bit of time to do. Living as we were for as long as we were its easy to get excited and say wooohooo we can do so much more and my daughter can have so much more. Then I think about reality... reality is we could be alone again, I could struggle again... anything could happen and it'd be nice to have that cushion and THEN be able to say woohoo we can have a real vacation or YAY, I can buy my daughter x,y,z she really deserves it (although not lately with her preteen attitude lol).

Sooo, I'm not sure what we will do on vacation but I'm going to try to make it as fun and relaxing to appease everyone as possible.

What do other strapped for cash single parents do for things like this? How do you appease yourself (relaxation) and the kid(s) with excitement and adventure with limited to no funds to do so?

I'm still tired...

2009-08-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

I think its time for another doctors visit. I keep getting shrugged off nothing is wrong. Recently they thought something major was wrong, thankfully I was tested and everything 'seems' fine.

Now I have new symptoms and the old one went away... turns out the old one was an infected cyst so there was something wrong just not the knee jerk reaction wrong that the doctor thought due to family history.

I feel like a hypochondriac, I find myself wondering is it that or is it the fact that I am just an odd duck and there is something there that isn't "classic case"?

*sigh* more weird symptoms... nothing is ever simple symptoms.

So here I am blogging about it because maybe they will go away that way. I've never been one to take my health serious enough until it gets bad. I ask for advice I don't take until it gets worse and then I see a doctor. I guess I just don't trust my gut when it comes to illness. As a child there are issues deeply imbedded and my relationship with ex has me questioning myself all the time too due to things he had said during our relationship.

Its funny, or rather not funny, that one can come so far in healing themselves but these things they always have a way of creeping up on you... you aren't really ever healed it just sits there. There really is no logical reason I don't trust my own instincts regarding my health and body but I have this fear that the doctors will think I'm the crazy and I'll walk out of there with the knowledge that others were right I am just over reacting or whatever it is that 'they' said. Time and time again most times I have had it proven to me I should have sought care sooner, like when I got pneumonia, I ended up really sick because I thought I just had a cold and was afraid to go to the doctor for fear I'd be laughed at for coming in for a wittle ole cold.

Stupid... yes, irrational... yes, there in my head keeping me in fear... yes. *sigh*

Anyone else like this?

Weddings...

2009-07-12T03:49:00.001-07:00

Weddings have a way of making me typically feel crummy. More often then not I've not even had a boyfriend at the time and I usually respond just myself. So I get stuck by myself at the table while they do all the couples dancing things and calling people out there. Not only that but then they have the throwing of the bouquet which for some unknown reason married people LOVE to oust the single ones. I always end up feeling like the spotlight is all over me (when in reality I know its all over the new couple but work with me here).

Last night though, I went to quite possibly one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to. I am attached now so I had my boyfriend with me, but he doesn't really do dancing so it isn't like we would have been out there for those dances but we aren't married... yet (ha ha ha) anyway so we'd have sat those out even if he did dance.... but they didn't have that kind of dance, then they also didn't do the garter belt nor did they do the throwing of the bouquet. You have no idea how much more enjoyable this wedding was to me because of those things. Somehow at least in my family (read there are a select few) someone always says something to me or does something to make me feel like I was this big, fat, ugly loser that no man wanted to be with. They didn't SAY that but what they did say made me go to that place. There was a point there where it seemed everyone was getting married, all my cousins, all my friends, all my co-workers.

One day I read an article about being single that another single mom friend at work gave to me (this was a few years ago). I felt changed and renewed, I didn't even want no stinking man so why would I let a few things said at a silly ole wedding bother me... then I went to another wedding and those silly ole things DID bother me, old feelings don't die very easily do they? See part of my feelings stem from I was never married to the kiddo's dad I've never experienced marriage or a wedding or anything and it brings up ugly feelings when people ask stupid questions at a wedding in fact... I've always wanted to answer the one about "Soooo, when are we going to come to one of these for you?" with "When you remove your head from your arse and stop asking such dumb questions" or "Oh... I had one, I didn't think I wanted you there so I didn't invite you. He's around here somewhere... where oh where did he go, oh well maybe you can meet him some other time" or "I'm saving myself for me, I don't have time for anyone else".... something quick and witty and just rude. I'm really not a rude person but just once I'd love to be lol

Last night though... I didn't want to leave the wedding at any point, it was just fun and no pressure as a single person.

I know I have gone to a few weddings attached before or with just dates and I always still left with that 'I'm a big, fat, ugly loser' feeling so it isn't that I was attached... unless it is because I feel that content feeling with who I am with and where we are going.

I wonder is it that content feeling? Is it that I've grown and I'm just able to appreciate weddings for the true beauty they are? Orrrrrr is it the fact that the reception didn't have activities that involved separating the singles out from the married couples? I don't know but I do know that I enjoyed myself and was sad to leave (I had to be at work by 5:30 am today... YAWN).

So as a single parent.... how do weddings make you feel? What do you love about them? What do you hate about them?

Looking for a new rental...

2009-06-27T05:49:00.000-07:00

So we are looking at homes to rent, currently the kiddo and I are in a one bedroom apartment, but... we are looking at 2+ bedrooms and will be having another paying person with us so we can afford a bit more :)

I would love to rent a house but they may be a bit out of our budget about $800/mo is our limit but I'd like to keep it at $600-$700/mo unless we find a beauty or something with a huge yard or something.

So far this is what we have found:

This we are looking at either Tuesday or Wednesday. So far by pictures it is my favorite that is readily available.

We want to look at this but the landlord hasn't answered email or phone we drove by it its still up for rent, pictures don't do it justice I don't think but oh well the yard really has great potential and Sabrina could ride her bike back and forth between her dad's house and this place which automatically makes it 100% ideal.

I'm going to call about this one today too & this one but it is REALLLY REALLY SMALL almost as small as a 1 bedroom apt so I doubt we would like it.

We have a few apartments in mind that are really gorgeous but we'd like to find a house that we could potentially buy if the landlord would let us if at all possible.

Rentals are few and far between even apartments are here in the school district. I found a total of two houses for rent the one with the youtube video and one that was already rented out that really was the PERFECT home for us, I was so disappointed :( here it is if you want to see it you'll immediately see why I loved it. Who knows maybe it will be up for rent again soon, I gave the guy my number just in case to keep us in mind anytime it comes up for rent. He also told me he had a daughter with a house for rent in the same area 2 bedrooms but no basement for slightly less than that one. He was supposed to give her my number but I haven't heard anything yet.

We do have some time but if we find the right place that is just perfect we are going to take it, for now we are getting ideas of what is available and for what prices. I'm finding there aren't any rentals really in the school district, I found city stats (for our city, there are 3 that farm into the school because they are so small) and only something like 12% of the population are renters, which means there aren't a lot available... good thing I have 3 "cities" to choose from (I put that in quotations because using that word just seems funny they are more like teeny tiny towns).

Softball

2009-06-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

My daughter started softball for her first time this year at almost 12. At this age they play fast pitch so she has a lot to learn to catch up to the other girls. She is doing it slowly but surely.

I had to post today, because they won!!! Also though, because she hit the ball TWICE and got home TWICE, she did strike out once and also she got out once but man it is soooo cool to see the smile on that kid's face when she comes back after she hit it and even got out let alone making it home. Her team is such good sports they cheer hard for her when she hits the ball harder than any other player even when she gets out after hitting it. Its really cool because they are so much more advanced than she is and sometimes she really 'drops the ball' when they could have won but they never ever let her see their disappointment in her. What a great team huh?

They do little cheers through the whole game... my favorite

"(players name) baby, you look so good to me, you're driving me crazy come on hit the ball for me. Oh (players name) baby come on hit the ball for me..." it goes on. Its just something you never hear in a boys game. Girls are great aren't they?

What kind of parent (or single parent really...) are you?

2009-06-22T02:59:00.000-07:00

I hear all the time different variations of what makes one a single parent.

Back in the day a single parent would basically mean parenting totally alone ie. a single mom typically where the dad got every other weekend time with the children and sometimes took it and sometimes didn't.

Now you hear the term single mom/single dad/single parent all over the place. Military spouses call themselves single parents when the other parent is deployed, dads who have EOW (Extended over weekend) and one day a week parenting time call themselves single dads, moms who share joint custody with the dad call themselves single moms. Everyone without or even sometimes with a spouse are single parents.

So to you what makes a single parent? What makes you a single parent? I'm intrigued to know.

For me it is the fact that I am unmarried, parenting a child... I do have to share custody and I do have to co-parent but at my home I parent alone there is no one to pick up the slack or help with the bills, there is no one who does any of that but me. Now I do have a boyfriend and he does help with all the slack stuff when he is here and I have never had that before so its very new to me and I can't believe how much easier life is when he is around to help with the laundry, or start dinner, do the dishes.... I have to be very careful not to take too much advantage of this because I feel it creep up all the time like ohhh I'll just leave that for T he'll be here soon before I know it I'm half finishing everything because I know he'll help... so I have to catch myself and say no... this is my job and he loves helping me because it makes me happy but it isn't his job.

Oh boy, I kept going in my true fashion huh? lol I have a tendency to over explain ha!!!

I'm still around

2009-06-14T07:03:00.000-07:00

Still sort of taking a break... reading and responding to others blogs. Just wanted to check in. I am still blogging on my financial blog because I need the accountability but other than that I just don't have it in me to update about life, I did and planned on it then more crapola happened lol isn't that always the case?

Keeping busy and trying to fit in some me time when I can squeeze it in. Hopefully by next week I'll be back on track and posting again :)

Taking a break

2009-05-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

I'm around, but not posting much. I have had some issues come up that are making life pretty stressful and also getting less sleep.

Last nights stressful moment, getting a call from my mom saying her Blood Pressure was 75/45 and I had to call her an ambulance and rush over there. When paramedics got there it was 100/60 not sure if something was wrong with the way she was doing it or not but 100/60 is low too especially for someone who usually has high Blood Pressure. She's also having trouble regulating her mental health medications and that has lead to some scary stuff as well. I'm wondering if its just the meds or if she is going into some early Alzhiemers its hard to say with someone with her history.

I'm also busy with the kiddo last week and this week has me having to be somewhere with her every single night this week. Softball, band, GS, end of year stuff has us running crazy.

Keep us in your thoughts please.

Let the talking begin.... Tweens/Teens and cell phones.

2009-05-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

My daughter has never been much a phone talker. In a way she still isn't EXCEPT when it comes to her BFF of course then she can talk, and talk, and talk on the phone. Or just sit there and listen to each other giggle.

The talking it doesn't stop. We enacted some rules it seems she hasn't been following so now there will be new restrictions on her phone use and how to keep her off of it when she shouldn't be on it.

Her phone is checked periodically she knows this. Her records everything... so when she'd been really good about it we've laxed. I check on her the other night its a school night and it is 10:30 pm and she was on her phone... TALKING to her friend.

New rule, phone goes up at night. Why didn't we think of that before? Well she's been responsible and shown we didn't need to.

I actually find it kind of amusing but don't tell her that... I gave her the stern face and the lecture. Really though, did she think she could hide it? I went and checked and she's been doing it for a couple of weeks which means her dad hasn't been checking records lately either. They have a new rule there too because... da da da da... she got caught there too. Is it odd I find it so amusing? Because this post it makes me chuckle.

Also it is sort of refreshing to see her have some normal behavior for her age group and know it is normal behavior. For so long we had so many troubles it is kind of nice. Weird in a way yes but not uncommon for parents with kids who have had/have special needs and issues with behavior.

So what are your cell phone rules for your kids?

Happy Mother's Day!!

2009-05-10T03:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all of my friends out here in blog land.

Today I am at work, my child is sleeping still soundly in the bed. I hope to return home to something cleaned oh how nice that would be wouldn't it?

When I get home I'm making dinner for Sabrina, my mom, and myself. We are having potatoes, green beans, and pork chops. This should be interesting as I am in a splint that immobilizes my wrist and arm.

I contemplated just coming home and heating up pizza rolls and calling it a night but I'm trying to be fit and healthy and that is not all that healthy so while the other meal isn't 100% healthy either it is healthier than pizza rolls.

My mom wanted us to come over there to cook but I told her no I have to work I can't do all of that. I think she knew I was serious because she didn't argue much about it.

Before I snuggle myself in bed, early of course, I am going to take a nice hot bath as a treat to myself.

What are you doing today?

More stress... financial stress

2009-05-05T06:18:00.000-07:00

So you'll have to view my blog entry at my other blog here in order to see but suffice it to say for this reason and some personal reasons I'm stressed.

I got Wii Fit this past Thursday as a gift for my birthday and actually that has been helping. The kicker is I had to see the lawyer on my Birthday to get a consult. I retained him.

I'm in this mess for several reasons a big one is custody crap the other big one is medical bills. I'm not even in credit card debt really.

I'm overwhelmed, completely and utterly... but I'm hanging in there and I'm doing things to not feel so overwhelmed.

There are also some family issues going on I'm not really ready to discuss here but its been rough. It will get better though... I hope.

Onto some good things... my kiddo is in softball and its fun to watch, I took Sunday off as a floater and relaxed all day. Some laundry was done and dinner was cooked other than that I sat on the couch all day long it was bliss, sheer bliss.

Family time, work, school... LIFE

2009-04-26T04:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we went to a family function. My cousin's son made his First Communion. I had a really nice time and I realized something... it was relatively stress free, normally our family functions are not stress free.

The next thing I realized was that my Uncle was playing cards with the guys most of the day/evening so he wasn't there to cause ruckus among everyone. I also noticed my mother wasn't there and this allowed for me to relax and not be totally stressed.

The stress that my mother causes me is really unreal. I'm not quite understanding how a mother can do that to her child.

I realized I still have a lot of anger and resentment towards her and it isn't likely to go anywhere soon unless she takes on the responsibility for the things she did to cause those feelings towards her. That is likely to never happen.

Why do I stay in contact with her? I do not know, I can not answer that except to say I'm not ready to write her off completely and disown her.

She drives me batty though, and when you add her along with the other stresses in my life at the moment it doesn't make for good health that is for sure.

Work is another issue driving me crazy, I'm hoping that in the near future I can leave this office and not look back. Out of the few issues causing me enough stress to impact my health work is another one. Money issues, work, and my mother I can pin point the stressors in my life but there isn't much I can do about any of them.

School isn't going so well and again I can say the stress in my life has a negative impact on school. I need to be able to focus more on school, myself and my child. Work and my mother don't take heed and just take, take, take from me. My work schedule is pretty stressful at the moment and I never seem to have more than a day off at a time. They cut out overtime, which I was excited about until the impact of no overtime meant that really we work some crazy crap to make up for the no OT to cover the uncovered shifts (due to vacations, sickness....). I find myself needing/wanting a week off for mental health instead of an occasional mental health day. I find myself contemplating the foot surgery that really costs more than I can afford just so I can have time off of work. How crazy is that? I want surgery to get away from this place for a bit. Yeah that isn't a good thing I'm not thinking.

It seems as if I need a break lately... that's because a lot of crap is coming all at one time and I see no stress relief. I'm trying to be less of a bury your head in the sand type gal (that is how I've dealt with stressors in the past) and deal with things but I definitely need to find a balance somewhere.

I've decided that I can go to school part time instead, a concession I didn't want to make in good times school makes me happy and makes me feel good I'm working towards something for myself and for my daughter. I'm sure this will cause more resentment towards the job and other things but it is what it is for now. I'm used to giving concessions so it won't be anything new to me. I'll just make it work out for the best and do whatever it is I need to do.

I've decided to say no to people whenever possible on social things. Lately even social things stress me out because of my work schedule being what it is it is difficult for me to attend and not compromise my sleep and down time. This is one that is going to be extremely difficult for me to do.

I've decided too look into something I think whiles stressful might alleviate some of the other stressors. I'm looking into it at the moment so I'm not sure if its an option for me but we'll see.

So in ending for today, there is a lot going on more than I've even posted or let on to but I'm working at doing more than swimming against the current, I want to swim with it for once while I breath and enjoy.

I have it harder, you get a break...

2009-04-19T03:54:00.000-07:00

I hate hearing that whenever discussing parenting with any other parent whether they are single or not.

Sometimes this will come up in conversation when talking about the stresses of single parenting (or even parenting partnered). It always makes me cringe. I may not hear the "I have it harder" part come out of their mouth but I do hear the "at least you get a break" which really is saying "I have it harder than you do". Really? A break from what? Parenting? Really? You think it stops because my daughter is with her dad?

Wow, if only we should be so lucky those of us that have any type of shared parenting. Just like parents who do it all on their own so do parents who have shared parenting.

Parenting doesn't stop when your child is with the other parent. I must still be a mom. Sure, I may not have to rush home to make dinner but I can tell you the "extra time" I get sans child is not spent whooping it up. I'm cleaning, signing permission slips, preparing dinners ahead, doing MY school work because I need to finish school for my child as much as I do for myself, running to the grocery store, putting in extra hours at work so I can bring in enough money... the list really does go on and on and on.

Then there are other parental obligations like just because it is dad's time with the child doesn't mean all things stop, there are still activities the kids are involved in, games, events, parent-teacher meetings, orthodontist appointments, therapy appointments, doctors appointments. It just never really stops.

I have a couple of friends that will never ever get this and a particular (well a few) family members that won't ever get it either. Its irritating yet entertaining in a way that they actually think parenting stops when a child is with their other parent.

Summer Softball begins...

2009-04-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

I got a call from Sabby's new coach and practice starts tomorrow, she was able to get the field twice this week during the day. Since they are on spring break she thought they could get started this week.

Those of you that have been through this kids childhood with me will know that this is a huge thing for her. She has always resisted anything social or interacting with other kids and sports. Last summer she came to me and said she wanted to play softball. It was too late to sign her up then but I said we would this year. The sign up sheets went up and she was all excited and asked if she could do it.

What makes this even better is it is only $30 to play and our local fire department sponsors the girls so all they need is their pants and I've been told cleats are optional and most girls don't have them. YAY!!!

I'm so excited and proud of my little uhhh I mean growing girl. She is still getting a 4.0 in school too!!!

This is no small accomplishment for her at all she has worked hard and now is becoming like this blossoming kid. She used to struggle so hard and was so totally socially inept. I worried for years, if someone had told me she'd have come this far I'd have thought they were crazy now I'm clinging to this new phase we are in.

I couldn't be a happier or prouder parent.

It is hard for me to go to some of my friends who are still struggling with challenging children. The medications she started a little over a year ago have really made the difference. Her medications before that made a difference but this one has really helped her grow to her fullest potential.

I can't wait to see what more is in store and what she becomes!

I need some accountability

2009-04-13T04:38:00.001-07:00

I need some weightloss accountabililty so I'm posting here. I'm starting a weightloss/healthy eating/exercise journey.

I hope it goes well.

Spring Cleaning

2009-04-02T11:59:00.001-07:00

Its about that time, I did do some a couple of weekends ago. I need to do more.

What I need to do is make things easier to clean, get more organized and get rid of clutter.

I'm so bad at that, I blame my ADD. I start one thing and go "ohhhh that needs to be done" and all of a sudden I'm doing something else. That happens all.day.long.

I want to find ways to organize the clutter that needs to be kept and I have such limited space you wouldn't believe it and more stuff than I know what to do with. I wish I could have a garage sale but since I rent in an apartment complex lol that isn't happening. I have stuff that I could generate money on (money that would be very useful) but I'm not quite sure that will happen. Donating it is probably best rather than holding onto it hoping there is some way to sell it. Someone else can clutter their home then ha!

Now... to find the motivation.

Getting older... blah, blah, blah!!

2009-03-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

That's about how I feel right now.

I'll be 31 one soon, I know some of you think that I'm still a baby and to you I say I'M NOT A BABY!!! Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way. I want to cry *sniffles* Last year for my birthday I had fabulous friends who threw me a fabulous 30th b-day bash. It was great! I had fun, and I was actually excited about turning 30. I hated most of my 20's they were a lot harder than one might think. I had a lot happen in those years and I was a mom before I even ever turned 20. Custody battles being the biggest sour note of all of my 20's. The tail end of my 20's I had a pretty major relationship end that was devastating to me. Hopes and dreams of marriage and babies went down the tubes with him (or at least it seemed that way then, I know better now the whole fish in the sea and I'm okay without and blah blah blah).

So now here I am, still single... still a mom... still going to school... still working a job I'm not entirely happy with... still... still... still.... and I'm going to be 31, next month. I don't want anyone to acknowledge my birthday... I want it to go away. I want to pretend I'm still 30 and I have a whole year to make life GRAND! I think I had this fantasy about turning 30 that something magical would happen and lemme tell ya it really hasn't.

I realize I'm fast approaching "too old" for more babies. Pretty soon those ovaries will shrivel up and the chances will be gone. On the other hand I am no where in a place to be having babies either but my clock is going like a mad (wo) man.

I've gone backwards in the past couple of years in hopes that will bring me forward one day. I know that doesn't make sense but it was a necessary evil. I haven't accomplished anything really, or I feel like I haven't.

I guess, I'm just depressed a bit. That big sigh you heard it was me... don't mind it, whining and having a pity party today.

Overwhelmed!

2009-03-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in quite some time. I'm just so overwhelmed with life.

I feel very pulled lately, everyone needs something from me. I did something this weekend, I powered down my cell phone and haven't used it. I think I'm going to do that for next weekend too.

April is set to be an extremely overwhelming month with work, school, and outside obligations to friends/family.

I know part of the problem is I don't know when or how to say no. So I've decided after April is over I'm just going to power down my cell phone often. I've already made these commitments so I'll just not make any more.

No to parties
No to going out
No I can't do that this weekend

My school work is suffering, my health is suffering, my life is suffering. For now I just want to really and truly focus on me, my schooling, my health, and my finances. I've tried the explaining it to others and people just don't get it. They think oh, its just me asking for one thing. See though, its not just you asking for one thing... its you and 15 other people.

Another issue is I work Sunday thru Thursday.... most people get Sunday to relax, I don't. So everyone wants my Friday evenings and my Saturdays but no one can seem to realize that Saturday is my Sunday, Thursday is my Friday, and Friday is my Saturday. I need a relax and get stuff done day too. Also because I'm not married I think people think I'm free to just do whatever, not true. As a matter of fact even less true, there is less money because there isn't a second income, there is less time because I must do it all and also less energy because I must do it all.

I've always been pretty suckful at time management and its time I get less suckful and it so my life doesn't drive me insane!

Of course, my mom thinks the powering down the phone this weekend is ALL about her *insert the eye rolling here* she tugs too and harasses too. She is like a big huge powerful energy sucker anyway. The powering down of the cell phone had everything to do with being tugged in too many directions. I let the people that would put an APB out on me know (my mom and a couple of close friends) I was doing this. Every time I talk to my mother she tells me something she needs. I find it not amusing. Also our relationship lately has been a pretty big failure. I don't like even talking to her for short periods of time, I find myself snapping at her and getting quite snarky. I know why it is, she refuses to see why. We've never had a good relationship anyway. I've had major thoughts of cutting half of my family out of my life completely... but then the pangs of guilt come on and I just can't do it. I can however minimize crap. Okay, okay... I know she will never read this so I can come here and vent away about her. Don't think I'm some crappy daughter please, I'm not. I'm just a girl that had a very tough childhood and my mother certainly didn't make it any easier or better, she refuses to accept her responsibility in my crappy childhood, then she leeches crap from me by way of guilt (it works good btw for her). So ummm yeah there is a lot there and lately I've had my fill.

Update on George and T

2009-02-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

So we saw George Clooney up close and personal. He smiled and said hello and walked into the covered area. He has so much yummy hot goodness mmmmmmm I was about 2-3 feet from him seriously!! Oh dear it made for a good day.

Then I finished work and went to T's. At first I gave him his things, I talked about the non-relationship thing we had to talk about and I went to get my things. I wasn't going to talk the rest he didn't seem receptive... he looked like a mess too btw. A large portion of my stuff is located in his bathroom (curling iron... toiletries you get it), his brother (they are roommates) was in there showering. Darn it stuck or leave it, I didn't want to leave some of my toiletries my favorite lotin and soap was in there (I know stupid!).

Soooo I brought it up.. I asked why. We talked quite a bit and then we decided he was being extremely stupid (not in those words) I gave him hell too and he feels ashamed for the way things went down and how much he hurt me. We also decided that maybe we can work it out and made a plan and some words of honesty. It was the first time I heard him say all my helping him out was overwhelming for him (well it was for me too but I was trying to be a good girlfriend) so we decided to 'cool off' for a bit, he will get better at vocalizing things and I will listen to his needs and vice versa, we will see each other less but he realizes my need for plans and he will respect that and make them with me instead of the on a whim thing. There is a lot more but that's all between us anyway... maybe I've said too much already but it is here now.

So that is it for now. I'll have to keep you updated on the progress.

Next week I leave for British Columbia I'll be gone from the 4th-12th (my plane lands at 11:59 pm on the 11th so I can hardly say I'll be back then lol). I may have some time to pop in here or I may not but if I don't that is where I am with my dear sweet friend.

I'm going to see him (T) today.... Oh and George Clooney too!!!

2009-02-25T04:17:00.000-08:00

after work, if he is home. He said he should be and to contact him.

I have some important documents of his and he has some things I can pick up. I forgot something at my house (and it really is out of the way) but I'll give it to him some other time I suppose, really its his brothers and I could always meet up with his brother's girlfriend (we chit chat outside of the two of them sometimes) and give it to her too.

I'd like to talk to him, I'm going to feel out if it is too soon for him to do so... I know I'm asking for more heartache I just can't help it. If I don't think it is the right time yet then I'm going to discuss the one thing that I have to discuss with him that is more "business" type of thing and that's it. When I leave I'll just say that I'm here and if I want that I still love him.

I think he has a lot to sort out, I think he thinks he lost his job and can't take me out and do things for me, and he thinks he isn't good enough for me (the text messages from the other night say it all without saying it outright). That isn't true but he needs to work that out for himself a reminder though that I'm here basically that's it should be enough to make him think about it a bit at least and maybe he will want to work on those things himself. Maybe things will still work out I really don't know but I refuse to be the person I was during my last break-up. I refuse to crumble and turn into a crazy person. I refuse to live my life as if he was my only option... even though I have tears as I post this, and that's okay, I refuse though to let it overtake me.

Yesterday I got my nails done I really needed the boost and it was $30 well spent, this weekend a friend and I are going out to get drinks and go dancing. I'll be diva'ing it up. I've got these one silver shoes that always make me feel really good and all my guy friends are like dang girl when I wear em so those will be a good boost. I need some attention and I'll get it darn it! It always feels good after a break-up to be hit on.

My back burner friend with bennies guy has been a great support and hasn't mentioned that at all (thankfully because right now I'd sock him in the nuts) I don't want him in that way and honestly I don't want anyone that way. I learned with my last relationship (at almost 30) that I love myself more and sex is so much better with that love that I just don't want meaningless or semi-meaningless sex anymore. Plus, you weed out the better men that way I found too. What a thought. R (the friend) is a better man just not looking for the same things I am ie. marriage, he'd love a lifelong commitment in separate homes I think lol sorry not happening. However, he is a great source to lean on whenever I need him to be and a great friend to have a drink with and talk you up and I oh so enjoy a going to sporting events with him over almost anyone else.

Oh and a cheerer upper, I get to see George Clooney today he's filming where I work *swoon* Maybe I can get a picture and his autograph, we see all sorts of cool celebs at work but this is my first time seeing a filming here at work where I can get close possibly and George is worth getting close to.

This might just be a dating blog like I intended

2009-02-21T21:55:00.001-08:00

or not *sigh* and *cry*

I don't know what happened but my heart is broken, I know I took this too quickly but it really was him that did and now my heart is broken and shattered yet again with no real reasons or answers.

I don't know if it really is over I just know I have a lot of pain right now and I have to be up in 4 hours to go to work and I have a sick kid and a million of other things and I just don't deal well with break-ups either. I won't go crazy and I'll be okay... I know I was okay before I met him and I'm okay now just heartbroken and confused.

Okay now that I said that out loud because it is true I just need to cry and IDK I feel very lost right now.

I know there are a lot of people out there with a lot worse going on with them but I'm allowed to take time out to hurt and not worry about that for a bit right? Its okay to be selfish and do that? Its okay to acknowledge others are going through a lot worse but its still okay for me to hurt and cry and just be the mess I am tonight... right? Because not only am I saddened I'm feeling guilty for being that way.

Update 2/20: Everything feels wrong today... my emotions are all over the place. I don't understand this at all because it truly came out of nowhere. Not only that I'm hurt regardless of how it came about. I don't understand how a couple of days ago you can say that everything is such crap in your life but one person that provides the joy he's getting and then poof do this. It makes no sense at all. Friday evening we had sex it was loving (even more so I think and everything was great Saturday morning too so why this Saturday night? Is it because he doesn't think he deserves this because he's depressed about loosing his job and trying hard to find another one without much luck? Like he has nothing to offer me and what not? He did say I deserve better (whatever that means, god its such a cliche to hear that). I know I do deserve more than the way it all went down, although there was no argument that lead up to it or anything just the way he did it was so much more hurtful it was almost like he purposely pushed me away.

I can't fix him and his problems I know that much but I could have been there for him during the rough patch. I know my friends husbands suicide was pretty triggering for him with his own father, I get that and so he has a lot on his plate. Isn't that when you lean on those that love you and not push them out and hurt them?

Sick kids are no fun!!

2009-02-19T19:52:00.000-08:00

The kid is sick, she's miserable and trying to decide if a doctors appointment is needed. I think its warranted she's so rarely this miserable when she's sick. Her fever is gone but she is more miserable without it than she was with it. I hate the balance between overprotective mom and try not to worry about it mom. GAH!!!

The crabbiness is like out of this world crabby. OH.MY.LAWD!!!

Tomorrow we'll be on day 2 no school, here's hopin' that she can get better by Monday. Today was supposed to be the first day back at school after winter break and she didn't go, my kid was disappointed ha! I was the kid pulling the heat the thermometer on the light bulb trick like in E.T.

I got an award!

2009-02-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

How cool is that? I think its pretty neat-o myself ;)

The rules for this award:Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.Show the winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap.” There’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.

List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I can not stand a dirty bathroom, it will send me into much anxiety
2. I also (in the theme of the bathroom, I have a thing what can I say) can not stand absolutely EVER the bathroom fan being on at all for any reason
3. I watch 2 shows fairly reguraly Grey's and Desperate Houswives, I realize they are junk and I don't care
4. I'll try almost anything once
5. I have a not so nice pet name for my mom
6. I have changed my major in school a bazzillion times
7. I am rarely too hot, usually I am too cold and you can find me wrapped in a double fleece blanket at anytime with sweats and a sweatshirt on with an undershirt underneath of it
8. I loathe doing the dishes but love cleaning the bathroom
9. I have what my allergist calls phantom allergies and they come and go and I never know when or to what I'll react to, I have nasty life threatening reactions so it isn't fun
10. I freak out in every relationship I have ever had and usually have to be talked down from the "I'm running out of this things screaming" ledge thankfully I have good friends to do that for me

My 7 blog recommendations (please go visit them):

Jeanie in Paradise
Lifestyle of a Divorced Single Mom
Single Mom Seeking
The New Frugal Mom
Fabulous Financials
Fighting Foreclosure
Rich Single Momma

This was really hard, in reality these are blogs I frequent whenever I see a new post, all the blogs I read I love reading every single post so none more than others. I too wish I could list them all

I started my Chantix!

2009-02-18T07:04:00.000-08:00

Let the quitting begin!

I started it yesterday, I hope it works as well as everyone says it does. I have to admit that I feel anxious since starting it, not sure if that is just me being anxious or if the pills do that. I do feel the most anxious about an hour or so after taking it so I think it might be the pills. I also feel a bit spacey *sigh*

Monday will be my last day smoking I'm excited and sad at the same time. There is nothing like the satisfaction I feel from taking a drag from my smoke I'm going to miss it I fear. I'm excited to save the money and my health.

I think I'll post through my journey of quitting smoking.

Anyone else quit? What is your experience? Any Chantix users?

My new blog is up

2009-02-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

I decided not to host it anywhere yet and pay for hosting, although that may come later.

Here is my new financial blog: How I Became a Financial Fussbudget I made my first post yay!!

I'll work on a post to combine my financial posts from here or maybe just add the posts individually as I see fit.

Hope you enjoy!

Don't worry this blog I'll still be updating as well.

I Wish! Also, an Update to My 'Things to Do' List

2009-02-16T14:39:00.001-08:00

I wish that my finances were fixed, so that I could look for a home. I have found several homes in my area all say they are liveable and all are under 60K for sale. I'm the type of person I want a home of my own so badly, that I don't care if nothing is the way I want it because most likely won't be and even after I have all debt paid and am finished with school and finish paying off student loans I still won't be able to afford exactly what I want (man what a run on sentance).

I wish I could get financing, man a loan that low would cost like 1/3 of my rent (even with taxes, insurance and a monthly payment to my savings for housing costs/repairs). Think of what I could do for my debt and finances with 2/3 rds of my income freed up. Of course I wouldn't need to do anything for my debt and finances if I was in a position that someone would approve me.

Oh well. Such is life I guess... although I'm really not feeling that right now as I type this. I really need to stop looking at houses, I can't help it, I can't stop dreaming about it.

Onto my last post and update

Today I applied for a new checking account at Fifth Third Bank, they have a really nice one for students. Now I need $50 extra bucks to open it. At which time I will close my account I have now, the totally online banking thing (I have an online bank not a bank with branches) isn't working for me. I'm waivering between opening an ING Direct savings or just using my Credit Union savings. I can only have 3 accounts money is deposited into through my direct deposit and really I need 4. I'm not good at moving the money myself... for various reasons.

My budget is a work in progress, I'm currently working it out still, I get frustrated a lot and cry a lot and start over a lot, its really never been a strong suit of mine. I need to figure out how much I need and forget how much I have and that includes all the things like entertainment, emergency fund, all those little things like a gift fund etc... then figure out how much I need after my paycheck and get creative. Dawn at Fighting Foreclosure has inspired me to that last bit.

I also started my new blog for all my financial stuff (just moments ago) I haven't come up with my introductory post yet or any of its contents either. Here it is though for when I do start How I Became a Fiscal Fussbudget

The Good Life

2009-02-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

So I can feel myself getting a wee bit depressed. What can I say a lot of stuff is going on that is affecting me negatively.

I should be using this blog to get that out, but for some reason I can't do that.

Instead I'm going to talk about the good.

My daughter brought home a 4.0 (all A's)... there surely was never a report card like that in my hands before I became a parent. HA!! I just didn't care about my grades like she does. So a big ole WTG Sabrina for a job well done.

I have a job, there is threat of layoffs in a year depending on if the customer renews our contract or not. It is looking like not. This is somewhat a good thing though because I can plan ahead. I can be in a better financial spot than I was in April of 2007 when I was laid off for over 6 months.
I'm excited about increasing my credit score, having an emergency fund for the first time ever, and generally not drowning in the financial torrent sea I have created. I have one big expense coming up but other than that the rest is saving money. If I don't get laid off then I can use some of the emergency fund to help pay off debt. Win, win all around right? I think so.

I have a list of things I have to do:

Re-do my budget that currently isn't working for me
Start a savings account which earns interest
Make a list of purchases that will reduce my bills and expenditures (odd I know but this will get covered in the new blog when I start it).

I am quitting smoking... again! You can't quit if you quit trying right?

Things with T are going smashingly well, we've had a small 'disagreement' or two but no arguments or fights since we met. He really is a great man! He has helped to get me through the hardest parts of my life I've had and he's been through it himself. It brought us a million times closer.

What is going on good for you all?

Can't even come up with a good title

2009-02-06T16:56:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to bring myself to blog about my life but I did make a few decisions the past few weeks.

I learned about different financial schtuff and I decided to open a new blog on my road to financial whatevers. Not sure when I'll start it. I have loads and loads of posts in my head to start this particular blog but I need to come up with an intro. How weird that the intro is stumping me.

Don't worry I'll still keep up with this blog I just wanted to keep the two seperate. I guess right now though I'm just not ready to talk about things in my personal life. There is good stuff but the bad stuff has me blah!!! I do have a lot to be thankful for and this financial blog I'm going to start has me very excited and feeling in control of how some of the potentially bad stuff will turn out (like I might not have a job to come to in about a year... AGAIN!!). Giving up is NOT an option, it never is and boy am I learning what giving up does to everyone else in your life lately.

My apologies

2009-01-25T05:58:00.000-08:00

I know this can be an excuse post on why when I post that I am starting my frugalness I have not done so.

I have had a personal emergency, I will be back as soon as I feel up to it. Right now I'll read and comment on your blogs.

Stay tuned though because when I start hopefully it will be good.

Purging and eating my way to frugality

2009-01-13T06:05:00.000-08:00

So I'm working on finances, and part of that is budgeting and practicing frugality. It is a good thing I have been poor (and still am but not as poor) before and I know how to be frugal. This is nothing new to me.

So I decided one thing I need to work on is the food bill, while I still want to eat healthy (as that is a goal this year is to loose weight), I need to do that in an economical way.

Step 1: I will be using up everything I already have in the house and will not replace until I use all of these things, minus perishables like bread, milk, meat....

I have already used almost all of the meat so I will need to make a trip to the store soon. This will be hard not to buy some snack or another, or additional ingrediants to make things we enjoy.

After this I will go onto Step 2, which is meal planning, coupon cutting, freezing meals etc... As I journey through this I'll post some of the great meal finds in the grocery strike and some of the not so great meals too, so you all can read my progress.

Wish me luck!!

Dental work, on the financial front

2009-01-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

I have to say it felt so good that my $500 dental work on Friday was paid for by my flex spending card. I didn't have to worry where the money was coming from, its being paid weekly, tax free and worry free out of my check into that account. I put $2,000 into it this year for several reasons, I wanted to put $3,000 into it. Maybe next year I can.

Also this is one thing I can take out of the budget because anything that comes directly out of the paycheck isn't counted as income. I am needing to re-do my budget again anyway. Thanks to Jennifer at Lifestyle of a Divorced Single Mom and her budget spreadsheet things on the financial front are coming along. Pretty soon I may even have a savings account that has actual money in it. Who knows. All I do know is that is no longer a dream but a reality.

Toothbrush Duty!!

2008-12-31T04:26:00.000-08:00

A post on a board I recently joined reminded me about something I used to do with my daughter, Toothbrush Duty. Toothbrush duty is when you get in trouble and mom hands you a toothbrush and a gives you a job to clean.

Kiddo's mouth and attitude really stink lately and I've been pulling my hair out. Duh' toothbrush duty time has been needed for a long time here now. I need to get a little more creative though now that she is older. The toothbrush hung for far too long.

Do your kids respond to chores as their discipline? Really, she has a set of chores that I expect her to do when told and oddly enough she doesn't give me much lip about that. She may moan and groan and say 'but we just did that last week' (or yesterday, or whatever), as if it never needs to be done again. She really used to loathe toothbrush duty and I forget why it went away, maybe she got better and I got lazy after that dunno, but its coming back.

What do you do for the mouthiness? Further, does it work?

Flex Spending

2008-12-26T13:50:00.001-08:00

One of the first orders of action of getting my life under control is taking care of myself. Since I now have a horrible health insurance plan I haven't been taking care of myself like I should. So I am investing quite a bit into my flex spending this year. Of course that includes off the top the $500 portion of my share of this years payments towards my kiddo's braces. It also includes a $500 temporary repair to my tooth until I can afford the permanent repair which is $3k and is not an option but can wait a tiny bit longer. So those are two planned expenses as it is, then my deductible is $400 another pretty much planned expense and then there is some unplanned money there too for rx's, co-pays (which are exorbitantly high) and other such things.

Now the money will be there without me having to do much to make sure it is. I just have it directly taken out of my check and put into flex spending. They give me a niffty little card I can use it without even having to worry about being reimbursed, me likey that.

More financial stuff to come but I figured I'd start a little blurb

Procrastination and happy holidays!

2008-12-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

So I'm an expert at procrastination. It really is an art form, or a sport... whatev' I'm good at it.

Thus so I've been meaning to post some things that I haven't done so, some are in my dashboard, others (most of them) were in my head... all of which I've promptly forgotten.

One big thing is I think I'm going to finally start my financial portion of this blog. See I had every intention of making this blog my life but also having special spotlights on dating and finances (as mine are a mess and I've slowly been working at it). I figured those were two spots in my life that are always chaos and I could use the reflecting back and the discipline in finances and just the reflecting in the dating portion of my life. Since I found someone to be serious about it will mostly stick to finances I guess *shrugs* who knows what the future brings.

So I don't keep procrastinating on that portion of my blog I posted.

Oh, and yes... Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. I will be working but I hope you all enjoy yours!

ETA: Oh, and yes... I have not forgotten the meme Jeanie ;)

She likes a boy

2008-12-10T14:05:00.001-08:00

she won't tell me much but his name. I won't share though.

Darn kid told me she'd tell me a little each day because she's embarrassed about it.

I wanna know all about this boy.

I think I hate middle school now!

I really do have the best daughter ever!

2008-12-01T03:21:00.000-08:00

I have to brag about Sabrina, she is really the best kid ever. Those of us in tween hell will appreciate that this is a rare occurance, because while we love our kids, sometimes it is really, really (no I mean really) hard to like them. I think they do stuff like this to keep from being killed before they turn 18. Whatever it is she is saved from tweenicide for now.

Something must be right about the parenting she receives.

I'm sick, sick as a dog. It was 'just a cold' that moved to what is likely a sinus infection. This will likely move to bronchitis because I will not make time to see a doctor and it will spiral. Also I'm miserable and I don't wanna go. I'm done with the sickness (ha like that spin?) ewwww wha wha haha. Okay I'm done being dorky and being all ADD getting all side tracked (oh... look a kitty).

Okay, in all seriousness. My kid is awsome.

Yesterday was her second time staying home alone while I worked. She did everything asked of her, she cleaned the living room and did the dishes and showered. YAY!! She went above and beyond that though too, she ran the vacuum in the living room, and made the bed. She finished all of her homework while I was at work all before turning on the television or the Wii.

I get home, and I make dinner. I force my sick self to eat. I promptly get sick. Kiddo calls her step-mom to come and get her as I'm supposed to be dropping her off there. Step-mom agrees but asks if 8pm is too late, no, no it isn't. All the while Sabrina is bringing me blankets, and hot cider, cleaning up dinner and the dishes, and taking care of her sick ole' mom. I'm wondering where my kid is but I won't ask for fear that the aliens might take her back, so I enjoy it.

Step-mom picks my daughter up and they go on their merry way. Sabrina must have told her step-mom how sick I was because about 10 mins later in comes Sabrina again with Vernors (ginger-ale for non-Michiganders) for my sick self. This is super cool because I asked my mom to bring me some and she refused, Sabrina had wanted to take her bike in the snowy cold rain and get me some but I said no.

I must be some kind of sick to get this kind of treatment. Normally if I am not feeling well she rolls her eyes at me and huffs and puffs if I so much as ask her to clean up her own plates, or bring the kleenex. This she did mostly all on her own. Either that or meebee its the impending holidays and the fact that she knows mom is Santa now so she wants the good gifts. Nawww she's a good kid, but this isn't normal for her and it was a nice surprise.

So another night out... with a picture of the new man and me.

2008-11-29T13:07:00.000-08:00

So yes, now I look like a complete party animal lately. I really don't know why, because I am, but I rarely get to do that.

Also drunkeness... it doesn't become me at all. This particular night (last weekend), little ole me got into a bar fight. Who does that at 30? Me and my 35 year old dear friend do apparently. We whooped arse if you really wanna know, this will be the story to tell for many moons to come because well... we don't get to get out often and we rarely oh so rarely have good stories to tell anymore. Anyway this girl stole my purse, my phone, my money... I confronted her in a polite way I might add, she got lippy and I gave her choices. Her choice was a fight... so it was what it was. It was so funny, I gave her choices like I would my 11 year old (heck for all she looked all of 17 herself and got lippy like a 17 year old anyway).

So in this pic, T thinks I'm being all friendly when in reality I know I look like crap especially because I'm drunk, and I don't want my mug showing all that much in the picture soooo I kissed him for it so my ugly mug doesn't look so ugly. Shhh don't tell him that... we'll let him believe I was being all friendly ;) So anyway this is the new man, I like bald men what can I say?

A night out.

2008-11-18T03:49:00.000-08:00

So was it last weekend? No the weekend before definately the weekend before. My friend threw a party for her fiance since he is turning 40. It was a surprise party.

We had a blast and I thought I'd share some pictures.

Last one. My cousin Dawn, Me, my friend (and old roommate) Erica, and my cousin Nicole

2nd one... me and Carol's (one of my closest friends) mom.. doing the hustle, she's old and blind and was on cloud nine when I took her out to dance.

First one, me and my friend Jeff, who is hot (at least I think so). We used to DTD but not anymore (not for his lack of trying though). He told my old room mate (Erica) that night he wants to marry me. Told me that since... WTF ever dude!! He's a good guy, but a whiny man (like overboard) too I can't handle him but in smallerish doses. He's a day late and a dollar short anyway... there was a time I would have entertained the notion of a Jeff and Kari, but alas not anymore. Not just because I am not in the market but the idea of spending the rest of my life with Jeff or someone like him... UGH Jeff helped to pull me out of a funk last year. At the same time, Jeff has his own funks like ALL.The.Time. I try to help him where I can without wearing on my own mental health.

Might I say I really don't like the way blogger does pictures?

Rejection.. I hate it

2008-11-16T03:00:00.000-08:00

So, I've been avoiding the rejection of the guys I needed to let down. Two of them went away on their own when I flaked out on them.

M, I didn't really flake out on because he wasn't contacting me and when he did it was a text here or there inquiring about how I was doing ect... We are both single parents, he is primary and sole of his two children and we are both very busy. When we met ages ago we just wanted to date and date other people. He lives an hour away in another state so we texted and talked only occassionally and then went out even less than that as our schedules allowed. We had great fun together but I never felt any chemistry with him, who knows maybe he didn't either and felt we were just friends too.

Anyway, Monday he called and wanted to get together sometime this month and also wanted me to go with him and his kids and some others to go see a Christmas lights thing next month (he invited Sabrina too). Boy, he asks early lol but he understands the schemantics behind being a parent and getting out. He's a really great guy, just not for me which sucked when I realized that but he was a great companion and provided great company.

So I sent him an email (cringe, I am a coward what can I say?) in response to his text yesterday that I never replied to and told him my battery was dead (great now I'm a liar too).. Why is it that when you have the most men at your disposal is when you don't want them there? So is an email okay for this purpose?

Here is what I sent:

Hi M (name removed obviously),

How are you?

I got your
text messages late last night but I was exhausted and went to bed since I had to
be up early for work today. My battery was dead most of the day and my charger
was at home so I didn't get them until I charged it and was ready for
bed.

I needed to let you know though that I have been dating and
have decided to see where it goes with one person in particular. I'm not sure
where it will go for sure but I wanted to give this a chance and decided not to
date other people anymore. That doesn't mean I can't have friends, but I need to
be clear as well to be fair.

If you still want to talk on the phone
and be friends let me know, if not I completely understand that as well. I have
enjoyed your company and you are a really nice guy, it would be great to remain
friends as I think we both have a bit we can support each other on (parenting
for one thing).

I hope this message finds you well and I'm sorry
that I didn't respond last night.

Talk to you soon!

Sooo was I wrong to do it this way? I just sent it so no going back now.

Tell me, what have you done in the past?

My child

2008-11-15T14:05:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged on her in a while. I've been focusing on me in this blog for whatever reason that is. Maybe it is because my whole life is her and it is nice to have this little space on the internet that is just mine. However, I am a mom too so she is part of who I am.

My 11 year old child is playing the clarinet as I type this... gone are the days of the screaching instrument (mostly) and she is getting quite good at it. Despite that her report card says she needs more practice.

Since I mentioned the report card I must RAVE that her most recent one (minus band) was fabu. She's doing beautifully in middle school. So much so I haven't even logged onto that parent connect website they mailed us about yet. Must put that on my check list of things to do soon.

She's doing great with her braces and I expect her treatment time to be minimal. Her next appointment is during Christmas break.

Her sassiness and moodiness still leave quite a bit to be desired though. Ahhh the perils of tweenhood.

I made a mean lasagna that even her royal pickiness couldn't complain about last night. *note to self, make this more often and sneak in stuff her royal pickiness complains about eating*

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.. and other things

2008-11-10T07:01:00.000-08:00

So things with T are going smashingly well.

We spent a good portion of the weekend together and it was blissful. I was just in the hospital recently so we just watched movies and ordered pizza one day and another one we went to the movies. It was just nice to cuddle on the couch.

He held my hand, put his arms around me all the nice stuff that I really enjoy and that most men I've been with lack in. I let him know how much I enjoyed it so he continues lol He is very very attentive. He sang to me in his not so nice singing voice but it was sweet anyway (and funny). We just had a lot of fun getting to know more about one another.

He called me his girlfriend so we had a talk about that (YAY, I didn't have to be the one to bring it all up).

I'll stop the gushing stuff to tell you that this man is so respectful. This morning he texted me, like he does every morning to say good morning, but today he let me know he forgot to charge his phone last night. Why is that important to me you might ask?

Well.. I've come used to hearing from him through out the day with little things like "how is your day?" or what not. My most recent ex (and yes I'm going to compare here but I do that so little... I think), would let his phone die and we lived in separate areas in a long distance relationship. The problem was I would worry and he had no one in his area. Anyway it ended up being a big issue because it was happening too often one time it happened for 2 days because... well that's not important. This ex and I were talking marriage so it isn't like I was being a psyco (although I did for other things lol). Because this was a big issue, it is now to me. T and I haven't talked about it or anything we aren't at that point yet. I thought though it was really cool that he thought of me to tell me with the last of his battery that basically I'm sorry I won't be texting you today, and this is why. When things get even more serious between us it will be important to me that he respects me enough to let me know say he's going to be home late or something like that. I was impressed... or maybe I'm looking to far into this lol

I am proud

2008-11-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

Hi all, I have been sick (and hospitalized) so this is the first I can post on the election since the results.

I have to say despite the nay-sayers. I am proud today to be an American. History has been made and there is no denying that. I am proud American's stood up and were counted and we elected a half black man into presidency. In other countries this might not have been such a remarkable and historic event but here it is. This marks how far this country has come.

Despite your political beliefs, your disappointment in the election results, or ecstasy this is monumental and we should rejoice in the event. As Americans we should be proud of how far we have come.

It's a rainy day!

2008-11-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

It is no secret to most of my close friends that I love the rain. Today is a rainy and stormy day. Those are my favorite days. I wish I’d have known in enough time, I might have called in to enjoy my rainy day. Maybe that is a good thing, I did take a mental health day not all that long ago.

Let me explain a bit. I find rainy days cleansing. It rains, it storms and it washes everything away. I let the rain cleanse my soul. Usually this will bring all sorts of feelings to the surface I never allow out there otherwise. I won’t pretend to be in total control of my feelings; I am a woman after all. There are certain feelings though that don’t come out so easily and I can control them from surfacing. It is when it rains I allow those to come out and deal with whatever issues are causing or have caused them.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family as well as a sordid childhood I learned to shut things out and off. I find that allowing me a time to let go is actually healthy. Rain and stormy days don’t always mean doom and gloom sometimes I can allow myself to rejoice in something I haven’t allowed myself time to get totally excited about.

Today would have been a perfect day to open the blinds, get a cuppa, sit on my couch with a good no brain needed book and allow myself to think, giving myself time to sort through everything in my head. Not necessarily a ‘feeling’ day but a sort it out day.

So I sit here in my office, with all the rain and storms outside, the airport will run as usual (unless it gets too bad out there), and I have no windows. I just would like to say that most days I enjoy this… watching planes all day long gets boring but on days like today a window would be nice. The good thing is that I only have 5 more hours left and I get to leave. I’m making chicken and dumplings tonight I think… good soul food, oh and a pot of chili to freeze (YUM!!).

Fishing was fun but...

2008-11-02T03:35:00.000-08:00

It would seem on the surface that casting my pole into the sea roused up several fish. I let some go right away; a few were tossed back after getting to know them via the phone. There is one I’m still needing to let go but not entirely sure how, and then there is M as well… need to let him go but he’s from ages ago and I think we are just friends but he invited me for dinner and a movie at his place… that’s not a friends thing is it?

Anyway that brings me to T, T was my date who was a friends neighbor. The date that has turned into 5 dates and the reason I need to let go of J (tossed back though about a week ago), M, N and probably remove my POF profile. This is something I will be bringing up during our next conversation. Although, I’m not sure how well in the hurt feelings department that is going to go. See I’m pretty confident that all along I’ve been T’s only fish. I will gently remind him I guess that we never discussed commitment further than we both were looking for that.

Now is the time to have a discussion I think, because… well because I think you can all guess why. SEX. Yes, I’d like to have sex with this man. I don’t mean I have to right now but eventually I’d like this man in my bed doing the deed. I don’t think I am capable of having sex with one man while I date a multitude of others. I’ve been quite the promiscuous little vixen in my life but I decided that was behind me a while back and I’ve mostly stuck to it. I feel that T and I have a connection, the dating is ready to take to the next level, and I see it going somewhere (he does too he has said as much). T has put everything in my hands, has been patient and understanding and has said that I am in control. Way to put the pressure on T!! Thanks ;)

Now, all of this being said: I have also felt myself get giddy over this man, that stupid giddy feeling that I dread with a passion. Giddy makes me stupid!! The man causes those stupid butterflies that every girl it seems swoon over and I roll my eyes at. I’ve gotten caught up in giddy before… it leads to trouble lemme tell ya. So I’m trying to be rational through the butterflies and giddiness and keep my head on straight. I don’t want to be the girl that calls every hour and says “ohhhh I miss you boo boo so so much” like an hour after he leaves. That is just barftastic. I’ve been there before; I have no plans of going back. I think it is relatively normal to feel giddy and therefore want to act in stupid ways especially for women. I think I’m doing fairly well at combating that desire to act like some swooning, smitten, school girl. Even if secretly I am a swooning, smitten schoolgirl (hey and I’m in college so I can claim schoolgirl easily).

Run in with an ex... sort of....

2008-10-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

Okay... so more later I've written this 3 times and it keeps erasing on me.

This is also why you haven't seen any posts from me lately the erasing keeps happening. UGH!!!

Let the games begin... or not.

2008-10-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Really the games is not what I'm looking for but what can I say? It was the title that popped in my head.

I've changed my mind about dating. I've decided it will be fun to go out and date, so I have a date for Friday night. Something a friend set up. He's short she says... but he's funny and she thinks I'll really like him. So I'm going, what the heck right?

I need to do some things for me right now, for too long I've let guilt get in the way of being a happy person. No more... or at least until I change my mind again. I'm ready to be happy, with or without a man. I am happy without one, but it would be nice to have someone to spend some time with. I have no grand illusions that some perfect prince charming is out there. No one is perfect.

I am very critical of men though and I hope I can let some of that go. I even got on a dating website and updated my profile and made it public again.

This fish is in the water and casting her pole.

This is not the post I was going to make... but....

2008-09-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

I just thought of it and will elaborate more later.

I am not dating for now. Unless mister right comes waltzing in my life on some white horse, I'm just not into it at the moment. I'm too busy, too distracted, and too stressed to worry about dating and men at the moment.

Also, I have concluded that I don't attract the stalkers, the creeps, the jerks... they attract me. They are all out there where the nice guys just sort of sit in the shadows waiting, never to be discovered by a girl like me... unless I make that so. At any rate I don't have time to weed through them all.

Excuse #1: Why I haven't been blogging

2008-09-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

Well, really it will turn into more than one excuse this is just my first time excusing myself for not blogging. There are several factors

1) Nursing a sore child after extensive (and expensive) orthodontia work. Oye vey is what I say to both the extensive part and the expensive part. This is tiring for moms too let me tell you.

2) Work, work, and a little more work. I wish all that OT would get me out of the financial hole I am in but alas that only happens after some time. My some time isn't served yet apparently.

3) Stress!! Yes ladies and gents (well really I think I only have two readers so ladies ha ha ha), stress will cause you not to blog. Which actually brings me to another thought to blog about: finances... *said in my best TV announcer voice* please stay tuned to my local blog for another blog topic I may need some ideas here and I have lots that I am rolling off the presses.

Well that's it for now because work calls.

A to Z - Some A Me too wink

2008-09-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

A to Z- Some A Me

I shamelessly copied this from Jo's Life with Heathen's Blog I thought it looked kind of fun. Of course I can never be as witty as Miss Jo but I'll give it a shot.

Accent: One of my BFF's says I have a twang... what twang? I thought that was for Southerners.. I tell her so too and her husband who has lovingly adopted me as his wifey #2 and reminds me often I am shirking on my wifely duties aaaahahahahaha

Breakfast or no breakfast: no breakfast... but that won't work with the diet I'm trying to do so I'm trying to be a good girl (not sure the bad can be removed though).

Chore I don’t care for: Can I choose all of them? I didnt think so, damn!!! DISHES!! I loathe them. That and folding and putting away the laundry

Dog or Cat: We've got no animals at the moment I love them both but mostly a dog person.

Essential Electronics: It is a tie... computer and cell phone... the jury is out.

Favorite Cologne: I think as cologne as a man thing and that would be Burberry for Men, on me I like Love Spell

Gold or Silver: Silvahhhh

Handbag I carry most often: Right now? This beautiful Coach bag I got as a gift... I'll never in this lifetime see another one of those.

Insomnia: Insomna what? I'm too tired to say ;)

Job Title: The official is MOM then student then CSR

Kids: She's around somewhere... wait... I don't hear her attitude, maybe she fell asleep *snicker*

Living Arrangements: What is that? Crap-hole!!! I let the kid live here even with her attitude, she's pretty funny sometimes she'll earn her keep one day *sigh*

Most Admirable Trait: Ironically it is also my downfall but I care.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Getting drunk for the first time at age 11 probably wasn't a good girl thing was it? (sorry Jo I had to steal this... we really are too much alike). *crosses fingers that it really isn't true that your kids give it back ten-fold*

Overnight hospital stays: IDK how many the last one was for pneumonia

Phobias: something happening to my daughter, claustrophobia

Quote: "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharal Nehru (somedays though I just want to fold)

Reason to smile: Today it is hard to find a reason, my only one is my kiddo

Siblings: I have some

Time I wake up: It really depends

Unusual Talent or Skill: Everything about me is unusual... hello... my blog name is not-so-normal-girl

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Okra, bleh!!!

Worst Habit: I'm not telling!!!

X-rays: Too many, I've been in a severe car accident years ago ahd many X-rays, MRI's, Cat-scans....

Yummy Stuff: Cheesecake. It's the nectar of the Gods I tell you!! (and I have to agree again Jo).

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Just went to the zoo... sans child if you can believe it.. usually it is the Gorilla but this time it was the Giraff.

So try it... come on I dare ya!!

Middle School: Week 2

2008-09-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

So we got through our first week of middle school. It seems to be going well... most of the questions I ask though I get shrugs and "I dunno" but I hear that is pretty common and it has been a common response her whole life anyway ha ha ha.

She is enjoying band still, and she says she's been late to gym almost everyday due to logistics... we'll see how that reflects on her. I'll actually mention it at open house next week.

Mom is still a little bit crazy but she is doing better too.

Guilt... no guilt... guilt?

2008-09-07T18:43:00.001-07:00

I guess the point of taking a mental health day from work would be negated by any guilt I will probably feel for calling in sick to work right?

Yeah... I thought so.

Middle School is tough on mom.. I plead temporary insanity

2008-09-02T18:19:00.000-07:00

So my daughter started her first day of middle school today.

This is so much harder than Kindergarden was. In kindergaren I knew she was the wee little one but there were so many people that thought awww they are so cute and took care of them. In 6th grade though... yeahhhhhh not so much.

They are given a tour of the school quickly then given their schedules and they are let loose. No one shows them to their buses or even directs them where to go.

I have a hard time letting go so I went up to the school early before dismisal and watched from the parking lot to make sure my wee little 6th grader knew what she was doing without knowing mom was actually there. My attempts to go all incognito failed and I was busted!!! Ahhh we'll get to that in a bit.

Anyway I spot my 6th grader coming out of the school, she's totally petrified and alone. Try to imagine all this with me fellow mothers. I see here frantically looking around for the right bus, and she can't find it. I can see her classic fidgiting signs that mean she might loose it at any moment. I am sitting in my car with tears streaming down my face as I watch this because I know in my head I can't rescue her. All my instincts tell me to go run to her as fast as I can and rescue her from the pits of middle school and all the scary things. All of a sudden I can't see her... I know she must have gotten on "a" bus... but which bus? Oh no!!! A new set of panic sets in... what if she got on the wrong bus? All of this knowing full well she has a cell phone in her bag and can call home. The thing is does she know when to call home or will she panic like mom? Who knows unless we test it out.

See before all of this I find out there is major bus trouble and that on the first day of 6th grade my cousins son got all messed up for the same reasons and didn't make it on the bus home. This added into first time middle schooler mom and the panic I saw in my daughters face as well as the tears she fought back after she thought I left her in this big bad school this morning to fend for herself.

As well it wasn't that long ago I was a new middle schooler entering the sixth grade. One of the benefits sometimes of teenaged motherhood is that I KNOW when things are going on with my kid because it wasnt' that long ago that I was there. I'll know if she tries to get high, or she sneaks out, I know all the tricks. The downside I remember still all those feelings and I have moments of insanity where I think I can spare her all that somehow.

Oh and that I was busted note up there somewhere. It was confirmed my daughter was on the correct bus when she got off of it because she saw me and was confused. I directed her to get back on the bus, and to go to her father's as planned. I had to go to work.

Lesson here... it is likely much harder on mom when she makes it harder on herself. I'm sure my daughter would have been fine and I wouldn't have caused myself the emotional upheavel if I had just stayed home.

Stay tuned... for more middle school stories... especially from this week as somehow I think it will take mom that long to adjust along with daughter.

Hey, at least I wasn't that mom that I saw taking pictures in front of the entire Middle School of my new middle schooler's first day of school talking about how cute it was. That mom fer sure embaressed her kid.

I'm so tired of the campaigning

2008-09-01T20:11:00.000-07:00

I know who I want in office... lets get to it already.

I'm tired of the mud slinging.

I'm tired of people being at each others throats and personal debates that turn into hurt feelings. Why do politics always do that anyway?

I've researched, I encourage others to do so as well. I try to veer away from providing that research to others because people who don't want to be swayed won't be and those that don't care don't read it anyway.

I can't help myself sometimes though, I'm so excited about the canidate I support that sometimes I just have to let anyone who talks about the politics know especially when they mud sling at him.

Where did my baby go?

2008-08-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

You all get to sit and read/listen to me go on and on about my kid growing up.

I just can not believe that come Tuesday she will be starting middle school, with a locker and switching classes and everything.

Then in about 3 weeks she's going to be getting braces. Brace!! How can she be old enough for braces? How can it be that all of her baby teeth are gone?

She's even got a new later bed time. Oh, and keys... keys to the two homes, and a cell phone to call in an emergency or to check in.

Oh and she's been in band for a year... how can I forget band. Next year she wants to play softball (which for anyone that knows my child knows this is a HUGE thing for her to do).

She's hormonal so I'm sure that other changes are just around the corner.

Where did the time go? What happened to the toddler with the big fat baby rolls who'd say with her index finger pointing in the air (instead of a thumbs up) 'du dude' (which meant cool dude)?

I think I have a crush on Obama too

2008-08-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

I heart Obama too. This man is/should be our next US leader. The man has everythign within him to invoke change. Not convinced yet? Watch this msnbc video if it is no longer on the front page look for the video titled Obama: 'We can not turn back'

Oh and for my one friend so far who is reading... did I do that link right this time?

I really hope my country does the right thing in November.

In case you don't know why I've titled my post as it is watch the youtube video Obama girl

America, it is time for change!

Getting ready for camping

2008-08-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

Is hard work!

I'm sure I've forgotten something major. I wrote no lists to pack I just quickly tried to get it together. At least it won't be too bad I do know I remembered to pack clean underware for both Sabrina and myself. One time I forgot mine and had to go out and buy some while camping. That wasn't so fun.

Why is it that camping involves packing so.much.stuff? I feel like I packed for an army for 4 nights. Clothes, shoes, towels, toiletries, pillows, sleeping bags (oh shoot... did I remember mine? yes check that off... only if I had a list lol), drinks... yep got those, food was someone elses responsibility thankfully. Then Sabrina has her bike, roller blades, baseball and mitt... hopefully my cousins kids brought their bats because my kid hasn't gotten to the store yet to buy hers (read mom has had no time).

I forgot for certain a disposable camera but I can't run out and get one as I have no car until after we get back, which really stinks. My car is in the shop for another repair, but we'll save that for another blog day.

We are going camping at Higgins Lake you can check it out here http://www.michigandnr.com/parksandtrails/Details.aspx?id=496&type=SPRK the waters are crystal clear and breathtaking. Here is a wiki link about Higgins lake http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higgins_Lake

We will be driving about 3 1/2 hours North of where we live... that should be interesting with my ADHD child who hasn't been in a car that long in AGES. I've got lots of things packed for her to do while in the car she shouldn't get bored... too quickly and the rule in my car

1) Go to the bathroom before we leave
2) NO asking if we are there yet

A little tidbit about Higgins Lake it is reputed to be the 6th most beautiful lake in the ENTIRE world. Amazing that this gem is so close to home. Hopefully while I'm typing this I can find a beautiful picture online to share. Here we go http://www.higginslakehomes.com/asp/homes/2815%5C720184_8226090.jpg ... take a look at how blue and clear that water is.. it doesn't get much better than that without venturing to the carribean.

Michigan is home to the United State's most fresh water. Michigan owns over 90% I believe it is of our nations natural water resources... pretty neat when you think about it. Looking at a map of Michigan you see the Great Lakes but you don't get to see all the large and small lakes inland. There aren't many places you can go inside of Michigan in either Pennisula where there isn't a body of water within a few miles.

I'll probably have many exciting things to be told when I get back. We'll be out on the boat and tubing and loads of other things as well.

The Blame Game!

2008-07-30T13:31:00.000-07:00

I get really tired of the blame game.

This is something I am working on striving to help my daughter overcome. I am constantly hearing "it is not my fault". I hear this phrase even when I don't do the deadly mom death stare, raise my voice, or otherwise scold her for something. This phrase now makes me automatically assume it is indeed her fault.

I tried to grasp why my daughter feels nothing is really her fault... like EVER! I don't understand it. I have decided that I need to point out some of mom's flaws and when things are my fault... like forgetting to turn down a road... maybe I need to voice out loud that it was my fault that we have to turn around now. I'm not sure what the answer is but it is worth a try at least.

I started to ponder this whole blame game thing because I notice more so that there are many adults that do this. It isn't my fault thing. While an entire situation might not be 'your fault' maybe take a step back and find what you could have done differently to obtain a different outcome. Often times you'll find that in part at least it really was 'your fault'. Just own up to it and move on, and if you can fix it.

The point of this post really is because no one ever seems to own up... it is always a blame game and a point your finger game. Stop it, change what you can, own what you can, fix what you can, do what YOU can and stop worrying about what... you can't do, what you can't change, who you can't change... let's face it the only person you can change is YOU. Is that really so hard to do?

Who am I?

2008-07-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

That's what I'd like to know. Really...

I am...
a mother
a daughter
a friend
an employee
a student
a driver
a renter
a consumer
a soon to be ex-smoker
a Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-day walker
a woman
a survivor of many lifes bumps in the road
and many other things

I enjoy what I can out of life. I hope to blog just to blog and read other blogs as well as have mine read too. I'm sure as soon as I hit submit there will be some new revelation of what I should have included so watch the blog for more to come.