Monday, June 22, 2009

What kind of parent (or single parent really...) are you?

I hear all the time different variations of what makes one a single parent.

Back in the day a single parent would basically mean parenting totally alone ie. a single mom typically where the dad got every other weekend time with the children and sometimes took it and sometimes didn't.

Now you hear the term single mom/single dad/single parent all over the place. Military spouses call themselves single parents when the other parent is deployed, dads who have EOW (Extended over weekend) and one day a week parenting time call themselves single dads, moms who share joint custody with the dad call themselves single moms. Everyone without or even sometimes with a spouse are single parents.

So to you what makes a single parent? What makes you a single parent? I'm intrigued to know.

For me it is the fact that I am unmarried, parenting a child... I do have to share custody and I do have to co-parent but at my home I parent alone there is no one to pick up the slack or help with the bills, there is no one who does any of that but me. Now I do have a boyfriend and he does help with all the slack stuff when he is here and I have never had that before so its very new to me and I can't believe how much easier life is when he is around to help with the laundry, or start dinner, do the dishes.... I have to be very careful not to take too much advantage of this because I feel it creep up all the time like ohhh I'll just leave that for T he'll be here soon before I know it I'm half finishing everything because I know he'll help... so I have to catch myself and say no... this is my job and he loves helping me because it makes me happy but it isn't his job.

Oh boy, I kept going in my true fashion huh? lol I have a tendency to over explain ha!!!


the prisoner's wife said...

well, i'm the kind of single parent that's solo-parenting while my beloved is incarcerated. i'm the sole provider, soother, wrestling buddy, the mom & dad when we aren't visiting (or he's not on the phone). it's all me...i'd prefer it wasn't this way, but it is what it is for now.

Kari said...

I didn't think of that kind of parenting.

I'm wondering... do you discuss parenting decisions on the phone then? How do you work it to keep him involved while he is incarcerated? I should really read more of your blog I began to one day then the whirlwind hit.

jeanie said...

I counted myself as a sole parent because there was no support from dd's father even when he was alive.

Now, I suppose I am fairly nuclear, because V considers himself dd's father very much these days.