Getting Healthy!

I have this goal, I want to be healthy. I've been sick on and off for some time now. Not really knowing why I am getting sick so often and not just your run of the mill cold, allergies, and sinuses. I've had weird things like mesenteric adenitis (and I had this fairly recently not as a child), or lots of bladder infections (like the one I have right now), and all sorts of other things pneumonia included. Because of other symptoms I had 3 years ago I've been tested for lots of things. They come back normal or borderline but not enough to give a diagnosis of any kind.

I'm gaining weight like no tomorrow. In one month time I gained 8 pounds, EIGHT, yes EIGHT pounds. I'm tired, I'm unhealthy, I'm unfit. I need to change what I can. Starting Sunday I'm going to be 'dieting' or eating way healthy, I'm also going to be exercising (oh lawdy help me, please). I have already been doing some of this but the scales say I'm not doing enough to even keep myself at the current overweight status I was.

I'd love to loose 86 pounds but I'd settle for even 70 pounds and then going from there and seeing how I feel and what not. Losing 70 pounds will put me right in the middle of my weight range for a healthy weight for my health, 86 pounds will put me at the low end of that range and will make me entirely happy.

I won't make this blog all about my weight loss goals and exercising but I will be blogging about it. I hope that I can count on some support through it all.

Goal setting...

I'm on a major goal setting kick lately, I think I feel inspired or motivated for some of these goals. I know though from past experience changing too much too fast will be a sure fire way for me to throw in the towel.

I have three major goals right now:

1) Getting my side business up and running
2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
3) Getting my finances in order

With these things in mind, I'm trying to decide how to go about them best. I think blogging along the way about them will help keep me on track and stay motivated, plus be accountable. Can I count on all of you to help keep me accountable?

So what I've been doing lately to reach these goals

1) Getting my side business up and running
a) Did my first paid job, it wasn't much but it was something and asking for a testimonial
b) Making a mental plan to set up a website

2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
a) Joined sparkpeople.com
i) Created my profile & personal page
ii) Set up my weight loss goals and target date
iii) Posted an intro on the introductory boards

3) Getting my finances in order
a) Blogging on my other blog, How I Became a Fiscal Fussbudget
b) Held a garage sale
c) Started work on an improved budget
d) See goal #1 ;)

Expect to see more from me in the coming days, weeks, months..... I want to make sure I'm goal setting. For now I'm just going to write down my goals and what I can do in the short term to reach those goals. I don't want to get overwhelmed with long term goals since organizing and this whole proper goal setting/reaching is newer to me.

Oh, and if someone can tell me how to do this whole indentation of my a),b),c) and i),ii), iii) that would be wonderful! I couldn't figure it out and its still too early to try to do so.

Frugal Vacation for the limited budget....

So I have vacation time scheduled in just about 2 weeks.

There is nothing planned, the money just isn't there. As a single parent I can't justify spending money that isn't there. Add in that Christmas is just really around the corner and YIKES!!!

We are going to have a staycation in a way but... a lot of people that do staycations jam pack it with local things to do. I don't know that we'll do much of anything.

My aunt and uncle have generously offered up their trailer at their camp ground for 2-3 days during the week and it isn't that far we may do that. All the equipment is there so really all I need is the cost to get in for each time we leave and come back (I think it is about $5), food, and gas money. Not so bad.

We also have a wave pool that is nearby it's $5 to get into the State park (I didn't get a pass this year) and $3 for each person to swim. We can bring our own picnic lunch.

When looking at it this way we'll have plenty to do and still have a relaxing time. Honestly... relaxing is what I want the most... my kid wants fun and adventure so we can have a combo of both.

We now live with my boyfriend and so it is a little easier to be able to spend a bit more freely with someone sharing the bills... but in order for us to all live together we had to upgrade the apartment, meaning I needed more than just one bedroom so we did that. Even with the added expense of the extra room its still cheaper in rent for me so thats good. That said things were just scrapping by most months and heaven forbid an emergency happens like the car breaking down. I'd rather make a cushion so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck and that's going to take quite a bit of time to do. Living as we were for as long as we were its easy to get excited and say wooohooo we can do so much more and my daughter can have so much more. Then I think about reality... reality is we could be alone again, I could struggle again... anything could happen and it'd be nice to have that cushion and THEN be able to say woohoo we can have a real vacation or YAY, I can buy my daughter x,y,z she really deserves it (although not lately with her preteen attitude lol).

Sooo, I'm not sure what we will do on vacation but I'm going to try to make it as fun and relaxing to appease everyone as possible.

What do other strapped for cash single parents do for things like this? How do you appease yourself (relaxation) and the kid(s) with excitement and adventure with limited to no funds to do so?

I'm still tired...

I think its time for another doctors visit. I keep getting shrugged off nothing is wrong. Recently they thought something major was wrong, thankfully I was tested and everything 'seems' fine.

Now I have new symptoms and the old one went away... turns out the old one was an infected cyst so there was something wrong just not the knee jerk reaction wrong that the doctor thought due to family history.

I feel like a hypochondriac, I find myself wondering is it that or is it the fact that I am just an odd duck and there is something there that isn't "classic case"?

*sigh* more weird symptoms... nothing is ever simple symptoms.

So here I am blogging about it because maybe they will go away that way. I've never been one to take my health serious enough until it gets bad. I ask for advice I don't take until it gets worse and then I see a doctor. I guess I just don't trust my gut when it comes to illness. As a child there are issues deeply imbedded and my relationship with ex has me questioning myself all the time too due to things he had said during our relationship.

Its funny, or rather not funny, that one can come so far in healing themselves but these things they always have a way of creeping up on you... you aren't really ever healed it just sits there. There really is no logical reason I don't trust my own instincts regarding my health and body but I have this fear that the doctors will think I'm the crazy and I'll walk out of there with the knowledge that others were right I am just over reacting or whatever it is that 'they' said. Time and time again most times I have had it proven to me I should have sought care sooner, like when I got pneumonia, I ended up really sick because I thought I just had a cold and was afraid to go to the doctor for fear I'd be laughed at for coming in for a wittle ole cold.

Stupid... yes, irrational... yes, there in my head keeping me in fear... yes. *sigh*

Anyone else like this?

Weddings...

Weddings have a way of making me typically feel crummy. More often then not I've not even had a boyfriend at the time and I usually respond just myself. So I get stuck by myself at the table while they do all the couples dancing things and calling people out there. Not only that but then they have the throwing of the bouquet which for some unknown reason married people LOVE to oust the single ones. I always end up feeling like the spotlight is all over me (when in reality I know its all over the new couple but work with me here).

Last night though, I went to quite possibly one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to. I am attached now so I had my boyfriend with me, but he doesn't really do dancing so it isn't like we would have been out there for those dances but we aren't married... yet (ha ha ha) anyway so we'd have sat those out even if he did dance.... but they didn't have that kind of dance, then they also didn't do the garter belt nor did they do the throwing of the bouquet. You have no idea how much more enjoyable this wedding was to me because of those things. Somehow at least in my family (read there are a select few) someone always says something to me or does something to make me feel like I was this big, fat, ugly loser that no man wanted to be with. They didn't SAY that but what they did say made me go to that place. There was a point there where it seemed everyone was getting married, all my cousins, all my friends, all my co-workers.

One day I read an article about being single that another single mom friend at work gave to me (this was a few years ago). I felt changed and renewed, I didn't even want no stinking man so why would I let a few things said at a silly ole wedding bother me... then I went to another wedding and those silly ole things DID bother me, old feelings don't die very easily do they? See part of my feelings stem from I was never married to the kiddo's dad I've never experienced marriage or a wedding or anything and it brings up ugly feelings when people ask stupid questions at a wedding in fact... I've always wanted to answer the one about "Soooo, when are we going to come to one of these for you?" with "When you remove your head from your arse and stop asking such dumb questions" or "Oh... I had one, I didn't think I wanted you there so I didn't invite you. He's around here somewhere... where oh where did he go, oh well maybe you can meet him some other time" or "I'm saving myself for me, I don't have time for anyone else".... something quick and witty and just rude. I'm really not a rude person but just once I'd love to be lol

Last night though... I didn't want to leave the wedding at any point, it was just fun and no pressure as a single person.

I know I have gone to a few weddings attached before or with just dates and I always still left with that 'I'm a big, fat, ugly loser' feeling so it isn't that I was attached... unless it is because I feel that content feeling with who I am with and where we are going.

I wonder is it that content feeling? Is it that I've grown and I'm just able to appreciate weddings for the true beauty they are? Orrrrrr is it the fact that the reception didn't have activities that involved separating the singles out from the married couples? I don't know but I do know that I enjoyed myself and was sad to leave (I had to be at work by 5:30 am today... YAWN).

So as a single parent.... how do weddings make you feel? What do you love about them? What do you hate about them?

Looking for a new rental...

So we are looking at homes to rent, currently the kiddo and I are in a one bedroom apartment, but... we are looking at 2+ bedrooms and will be having another paying person with us so we can afford a bit more :)

I would love to rent a house but they may be a bit out of our budget about $800/mo is our limit but I'd like to keep it at $600-$700/mo unless we find a beauty or something with a huge yard or something.

So far this is what we have found:

This we are looking at either Tuesday or Wednesday. So far by pictures it is my favorite that is readily available.

We want to look at this but the landlord hasn't answered email or phone we drove by it its still up for rent, pictures don't do it justice I don't think but oh well the yard really has great potential and Sabrina could ride her bike back and forth between her dad's house and this place which automatically makes it 100% ideal.

I'm going to call about this one today too & this one but it is REALLLY REALLY SMALL almost as small as a 1 bedroom apt so I doubt we would like it.

We have a few apartments in mind that are really gorgeous but we'd like to find a house that we could potentially buy if the landlord would let us if at all possible.

Rentals are few and far between even apartments are here in the school district. I found a total of two houses for rent the one with the youtube video and one that was already rented out that really was the PERFECT home for us, I was so disappointed :( here it is if you want to see it you'll immediately see why I loved it. Who knows maybe it will be up for rent again soon, I gave the guy my number just in case to keep us in mind anytime it comes up for rent. He also told me he had a daughter with a house for rent in the same area 2 bedrooms but no basement for slightly less than that one. He was supposed to give her my number but I haven't heard anything yet.

We do have some time but if we find the right place that is just perfect we are going to take it, for now we are getting ideas of what is available and for what prices. I'm finding there aren't any rentals really in the school district, I found city stats (for our city, there are 3 that farm into the school because they are so small) and only something like 12% of the population are renters, which means there aren't a lot available... good thing I have 3 "cities" to choose from (I put that in quotations because using that word just seems funny they are more like teeny tiny towns).

Softball

My daughter started softball for her first time this year at almost 12. At this age they play fast pitch so she has a lot to learn to catch up to the other girls. She is doing it slowly but surely.

I had to post today, because they won!!! Also though, because she hit the ball TWICE and got home TWICE, she did strike out once and also she got out once but man it is soooo cool to see the smile on that kid's face when she comes back after she hit it and even got out let alone making it home. Her team is such good sports they cheer hard for her when she hits the ball harder than any other player even when she gets out after hitting it. Its really cool because they are so much more advanced than she is and sometimes she really 'drops the ball' when they could have won but they never ever let her see their disappointment in her. What a great team huh?

They do little cheers through the whole game... my favorite

"(players name) baby, you look so good to me, you're driving me crazy come on hit the ball for me. Oh (players name) baby come on hit the ball for me..." it goes on. Its just something you never hear in a boys game. Girls are great aren't they?