I think its time for another doctors visit. I keep getting shrugged off nothing is wrong. Recently they thought something major was wrong, thankfully I was tested and everything 'seems' fine.
Now I have new symptoms and the old one went away... turns out the old one was an infected cyst so there was something wrong just not the knee jerk reaction wrong that the doctor thought due to family history.
I feel like a hypochondriac, I find myself wondering is it that or is it the fact that I am just an odd duck and there is something there that isn't "classic case"?
*sigh* more weird symptoms... nothing is ever simple symptoms.
So here I am blogging about it because maybe they will go away that way. I've never been one to take my health serious enough until it gets bad. I ask for advice I don't take until it gets worse and then I see a doctor. I guess I just don't trust my gut when it comes to illness. As a child there are issues deeply imbedded and my relationship with ex has me questioning myself all the time too due to things he had said during our relationship.
Its funny, or rather not funny, that one can come so far in healing themselves but these things they always have a way of creeping up on you... you aren't really ever healed it just sits there. There really is no logical reason I don't trust my own instincts regarding my health and body but I have this fear that the doctors will think I'm the crazy and I'll walk out of there with the knowledge that others were right I am just over reacting or whatever it is that 'they' said. Time and time again most times I have had it proven to me I should have sought care sooner, like when I got pneumonia, I ended up really sick because I thought I just had a cold and was afraid to go to the doctor for fear I'd be laughed at for coming in for a wittle ole cold.
Stupid... yes, irrational... yes, there in my head keeping me in fear... yes. *sigh*
Anyone else like this?
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Work in Progress
15 years ago
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