I need to get to this thing more often....

the thing is though that I'm not sure what to write these days.

I should have blogged my whole wedding process what fun that would have been to look back upon one day!

Speaking of the wedding is in less than 3 weeks!

I'm going to make a huge effort to blog and maybe not have a real focus for now. I am thinking on having a specific focus for this blog but I haven't quite decided yet.

Getting Healthy!

I have this goal, I want to be healthy. I've been sick on and off for some time now. Not really knowing why I am getting sick so often and not just your run of the mill cold, allergies, and sinuses. I've had weird things like mesenteric adenitis (and I had this fairly recently not as a child), or lots of bladder infections (like the one I have right now), and all sorts of other things pneumonia included. Because of other symptoms I had 3 years ago I've been tested for lots of things. They come back normal or borderline but not enough to give a diagnosis of any kind.

I'm gaining weight like no tomorrow. In one month time I gained 8 pounds, EIGHT, yes EIGHT pounds. I'm tired, I'm unhealthy, I'm unfit. I need to change what I can. Starting Sunday I'm going to be 'dieting' or eating way healthy, I'm also going to be exercising (oh lawdy help me, please). I have already been doing some of this but the scales say I'm not doing enough to even keep myself at the current overweight status I was.

I'd love to loose 86 pounds but I'd settle for even 70 pounds and then going from there and seeing how I feel and what not. Losing 70 pounds will put me right in the middle of my weight range for a healthy weight for my health, 86 pounds will put me at the low end of that range and will make me entirely happy.

I won't make this blog all about my weight loss goals and exercising but I will be blogging about it. I hope that I can count on some support through it all.

Goal setting...

I'm on a major goal setting kick lately, I think I feel inspired or motivated for some of these goals. I know though from past experience changing too much too fast will be a sure fire way for me to throw in the towel.

I have three major goals right now:

1) Getting my side business up and running
2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
3) Getting my finances in order

With these things in mind, I'm trying to decide how to go about them best. I think blogging along the way about them will help keep me on track and stay motivated, plus be accountable. Can I count on all of you to help keep me accountable?

So what I've been doing lately to reach these goals

1) Getting my side business up and running
a) Did my first paid job, it wasn't much but it was something and asking for a testimonial
b) Making a mental plan to set up a website

2) Eating healthier and exercising to start my weight loss goals
a) Joined sparkpeople.com
i) Created my profile & personal page
ii) Set up my weight loss goals and target date
iii) Posted an intro on the introductory boards

3) Getting my finances in order
a) Blogging on my other blog, How I Became a Fiscal Fussbudget
b) Held a garage sale
c) Started work on an improved budget
d) See goal #1 ;)

Expect to see more from me in the coming days, weeks, months..... I want to make sure I'm goal setting. For now I'm just going to write down my goals and what I can do in the short term to reach those goals. I don't want to get overwhelmed with long term goals since organizing and this whole proper goal setting/reaching is newer to me.

Oh, and if someone can tell me how to do this whole indentation of my a),b),c) and i),ii), iii) that would be wonderful! I couldn't figure it out and its still too early to try to do so.

Getting older... blah, blah, blah!!

That's about how I feel right now.

I'll be 31 one soon, I know some of you think that I'm still a baby and to you I say I'M NOT A BABY!!! Okay, now that I've gotten that out of the way. I want to cry *sniffles* Last year for my birthday I had fabulous friends who threw me a fabulous 30th b-day bash. It was great! I had fun, and I was actually excited about turning 30. I hated most of my 20's they were a lot harder than one might think. I had a lot happen in those years and I was a mom before I even ever turned 20. Custody battles being the biggest sour note of all of my 20's. The tail end of my 20's I had a pretty major relationship end that was devastating to me. Hopes and dreams of marriage and babies went down the tubes with him (or at least it seemed that way then, I know better now the whole fish in the sea and I'm okay without and blah blah blah).

So now here I am, still single... still a mom... still going to school... still working a job I'm not entirely happy with... still... still... still.... and I'm going to be 31, next month. I don't want anyone to acknowledge my birthday... I want it to go away. I want to pretend I'm still 30 and I have a whole year to make life GRAND! I think I had this fantasy about turning 30 that something magical would happen and lemme tell ya it really hasn't.

I realize I'm fast approaching "too old" for more babies. Pretty soon those ovaries will shrivel up and the chances will be gone. On the other hand I am no where in a place to be having babies either but my clock is going like a mad (wo) man.

I've gone backwards in the past couple of years in hopes that will bring me forward one day. I know that doesn't make sense but it was a necessary evil. I haven't accomplished anything really, or I feel like I haven't.

I guess, I'm just depressed a bit. That big sigh you heard it was me... don't mind it, whining and having a pity party today.

Can't even come up with a good title

I can't seem to bring myself to blog about my life but I did make a few decisions the past few weeks.

I learned about different financial schtuff and I decided to open a new blog on my road to financial whatevers. Not sure when I'll start it. I have loads and loads of posts in my head to start this particular blog but I need to come up with an intro. How weird that the intro is stumping me.

Don't worry I'll still keep up with this blog I just wanted to keep the two seperate. I guess right now though I'm just not ready to talk about things in my personal life. There is good stuff but the bad stuff has me blah!!! I do have a lot to be thankful for and this financial blog I'm going to start has me very excited and feeling in control of how some of the potentially bad stuff will turn out (like I might not have a job to come to in about a year... AGAIN!!). Giving up is NOT an option, it never is and boy am I learning what giving up does to everyone else in your life lately.

Procrastination and happy holidays!

So I'm an expert at procrastination. It really is an art form, or a sport... whatev' I'm good at it.

Thus so I've been meaning to post some things that I haven't done so, some are in my dashboard, others (most of them) were in my head... all of which I've promptly forgotten.

One big thing is I think I'm going to finally start my financial portion of this blog. See I had every intention of making this blog my life but also having special spotlights on dating and finances (as mine are a mess and I've slowly been working at it). I figured those were two spots in my life that are always chaos and I could use the reflecting back and the discipline in finances and just the reflecting in the dating portion of my life. Since I found someone to be serious about it will mostly stick to finances I guess *shrugs* who knows what the future brings.

So I don't keep procrastinating on that portion of my blog I posted.

Oh, and yes... Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year. I will be working but I hope you all enjoy yours!

ETA: Oh, and yes... I have not forgotten the meme Jeanie ;)

So another night out... with a picture of the new man and me.

So yes, now I look like a complete party animal lately. I really don't know why, because I am, but I rarely get to do that.

Also drunkeness... it doesn't become me at all. This particular night (last weekend), little ole me got into a bar fight. Who does that at 30? Me and my 35 year old dear friend do apparently. We whooped arse if you really wanna know, this will be the story to tell for many moons to come because well... we don't get to get out often and we rarely oh so rarely have good stories to tell anymore. Anyway this girl stole my purse, my phone, my money... I confronted her in a polite way I might add, she got lippy and I gave her choices. Her choice was a fight... so it was what it was. It was so funny, I gave her choices like I would my 11 year old (heck for all she looked all of 17 herself and got lippy like a 17 year old anyway).

So in this pic, T thinks I'm being all friendly when in reality I know I look like crap especially because I'm drunk, and I don't want my mug showing all that much in the picture soooo I kissed him for it so my ugly mug doesn't look so ugly. Shhh don't tell him that... we'll let him believe I was being all friendly ;) So anyway this is the new man, I like bald men what can I say?

A night out.

So was it last weekend? No the weekend before definately the weekend before. My friend threw a party for her fiance since he is turning 40. It was a surprise party.

We had a blast and I thought I'd share some pictures.

Last one. My cousin Dawn, Me, my friend (and old roommate) Erica, and my cousin Nicole

2nd one... me and Carol's (one of my closest friends) mom.. doing the hustle, she's old and blind and was on cloud nine when I took her out to dance.

First one, me and my friend Jeff, who is hot (at least I think so). We used to DTD but not anymore (not for his lack of trying though). He told my old room mate (Erica) that night he wants to marry me. Told me that since... WTF ever dude!! He's a good guy, but a whiny man (like overboard) too I can't handle him but in smallerish doses. He's a day late and a dollar short anyway... there was a time I would have entertained the notion of a Jeff and Kari, but alas not anymore. Not just because I am not in the market but the idea of spending the rest of my life with Jeff or someone like him... UGH Jeff helped to pull me out of a funk last year. At the same time, Jeff has his own funks like ALL.The.Time. I try to help him where I can without wearing on my own mental health.

Might I say I really don't like the way blogger does pictures?

It's a rainy day!

It is no secret to most of my close friends that I love the rain. Today is a rainy and stormy day. Those are my favorite days. I wish I’d have known in enough time, I might have called in to enjoy my rainy day. Maybe that is a good thing, I did take a mental health day not all that long ago.

Let me explain a bit. I find rainy days cleansing. It rains, it storms and it washes everything away. I let the rain cleanse my soul. Usually this will bring all sorts of feelings to the surface I never allow out there otherwise. I won’t pretend to be in total control of my feelings; I am a woman after all. There are certain feelings though that don’t come out so easily and I can control them from surfacing. It is when it rains I allow those to come out and deal with whatever issues are causing or have caused them.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family as well as a sordid childhood I learned to shut things out and off. I find that allowing me a time to let go is actually healthy. Rain and stormy days don’t always mean doom and gloom sometimes I can allow myself to rejoice in something I haven’t allowed myself time to get totally excited about.

Today would have been a perfect day to open the blinds, get a cuppa, sit on my couch with a good no brain needed book and allow myself to think, giving myself time to sort through everything in my head. Not necessarily a ‘feeling’ day but a sort it out day.

So I sit here in my office, with all the rain and storms outside, the airport will run as usual (unless it gets too bad out there), and I have no windows. I just would like to say that most days I enjoy this… watching planes all day long gets boring but on days like today a window would be nice. The good thing is that I only have 5 more hours left and I get to leave. I’m making chicken and dumplings tonight I think… good soul food, oh and a pot of chili to freeze (YUM!!).

A to Z - Some A Me too *wink*

A to Z- Some A Me

I shamelessly copied this from Jo's Life with Heathen's Blog I thought it looked kind of fun. Of course I can never be as witty as Miss Jo but I'll give it a shot.


Accent: One of my BFF's says I have a twang... what twang? I thought that was for Southerners.. I tell her so too and her husband who has lovingly adopted me as his wifey #2 and reminds me often I am shirking on my wifely duties aaaahahahahaha

Breakfast or no breakfast: no breakfast... but that won't work with the diet I'm trying to do so I'm trying to be a good girl (not sure the bad can be removed though).

Chore I don’t care for: Can I choose all of them? I didnt think so, damn!!! DISHES!! I loathe them. That and folding and putting away the laundry

Dog or Cat: We've got no animals at the moment I love them both but mostly a dog person.

Essential Electronics: It is a tie... computer and cell phone... the jury is out.

Favorite Cologne: I think as cologne as a man thing and that would be Burberry for Men, on me I like Love Spell

Gold or Silver: Silvahhhh

Handbag I carry most often: Right now? This beautiful Coach bag I got as a gift... I'll never in this lifetime see another one of those.

Insomnia: Insomna what? I'm too tired to say ;)

Job Title: The official is MOM then student then CSR

Kids: She's around somewhere... wait... I don't hear her attitude, maybe she fell asleep *snicker*

Living Arrangements: What is that? Crap-hole!!! I let the kid live here even with her attitude, she's pretty funny sometimes she'll earn her keep one day *sigh*

Most Admirable Trait: Ironically it is also my downfall but I care.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Getting drunk for the first time at age 11 probably wasn't a good girl thing was it? (sorry Jo I had to steal this... we really are too much alike). *crosses fingers that it really isn't true that your kids give it back ten-fold*

Overnight hospital stays: IDK how many the last one was for pneumonia

Phobias: something happening to my daughter, claustrophobia

Quote: "Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharal Nehru (somedays though I just want to fold)


Reason to smile: Today it is hard to find a reason, my only one is my kiddo

Siblings: I have some

Time I wake up: It really depends

Unusual Talent or Skill: Everything about me is unusual... hello... my blog name is not-so-normal-girl

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Okra, bleh!!!

Worst Habit: I'm not telling!!!

X-rays: Too many, I've been in a severe car accident years ago ahd many X-rays, MRI's, Cat-scans....

Yummy Stuff: Cheesecake. It's the nectar of the Gods I tell you!! (and I have to agree again Jo).

Zoo Animal I Like Most: Just went to the zoo... sans child if you can believe it.. usually it is the Gorilla but this time it was the Giraff.

So try it... come on I dare ya!!

Who am I?

That's what I'd like to know. Really...

I am...
a mother
a daughter
a friend
an employee
a student
a driver
a renter
a consumer
a soon to be ex-smoker
a Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-day walker
a woman
a survivor of many lifes bumps in the road
and many other things

I enjoy what I can out of life. I hope to blog just to blog and read other blogs as well as have mine read too. I'm sure as soon as I hit submit there will be some new revelation of what I should have included so watch the blog for more to come.