I have it harder, you get a break...

I hate hearing that whenever discussing parenting with any other parent whether they are single or not.

Sometimes this will come up in conversation when talking about the stresses of single parenting (or even parenting partnered). It always makes me cringe. I may not hear the "I have it harder" part come out of their mouth but I do hear the "at least you get a break" which really is saying "I have it harder than you do". Really? A break from what? Parenting? Really? You think it stops because my daughter is with her dad?

Wow, if only we should be so lucky those of us that have any type of shared parenting. Just like parents who do it all on their own so do parents who have shared parenting.

Parenting doesn't stop when your child is with the other parent. I must still be a mom. Sure, I may not have to rush home to make dinner but I can tell you the "extra time" I get sans child is not spent whooping it up. I'm cleaning, signing permission slips, preparing dinners ahead, doing MY school work because I need to finish school for my child as much as I do for myself, running to the grocery store, putting in extra hours at work so I can bring in enough money... the list really does go on and on and on.

Then there are other parental obligations like just because it is dad's time with the child doesn't mean all things stop, there are still activities the kids are involved in, games, events, parent-teacher meetings, orthodontist appointments, therapy appointments, doctors appointments. It just never really stops.

I have a couple of friends that will never ever get this and a particular (well a few) family members that won't ever get it either. Its irritating yet entertaining in a way that they actually think parenting stops when a child is with their other parent.

Overwhelmed!

I haven't written in quite some time. I'm just so overwhelmed with life.

I feel very pulled lately, everyone needs something from me. I did something this weekend, I powered down my cell phone and haven't used it. I think I'm going to do that for next weekend too.

April is set to be an extremely overwhelming month with work, school, and outside obligations to friends/family.

I know part of the problem is I don't know when or how to say no. So I've decided after April is over I'm just going to power down my cell phone often. I've already made these commitments so I'll just not make any more.

No to parties
No to going out
No I can't do that this weekend

My school work is suffering, my health is suffering, my life is suffering. For now I just want to really and truly focus on me, my schooling, my health, and my finances. I've tried the explaining it to others and people just don't get it. They think oh, its just me asking for one thing. See though, its not just you asking for one thing... its you and 15 other people.

Another issue is I work Sunday thru Thursday.... most people get Sunday to relax, I don't. So everyone wants my Friday evenings and my Saturdays but no one can seem to realize that Saturday is my Sunday, Thursday is my Friday, and Friday is my Saturday. I need a relax and get stuff done day too. Also because I'm not married I think people think I'm free to just do whatever, not true. As a matter of fact even less true, there is less money because there isn't a second income, there is less time because I must do it all and also less energy because I must do it all.

I've always been pretty suckful at time management and its time I get less suckful and it so my life doesn't drive me insane!

Of course, my mom thinks the powering down the phone this weekend is ALL about her *insert the eye rolling here* she tugs too and harasses too. She is like a big huge powerful energy sucker anyway. The powering down of the cell phone had everything to do with being tugged in too many directions. I let the people that would put an APB out on me know (my mom and a couple of close friends) I was doing this. Every time I talk to my mother she tells me something she needs. I find it not amusing. Also our relationship lately has been a pretty big failure. I don't like even talking to her for short periods of time, I find myself snapping at her and getting quite snarky. I know why it is, she refuses to see why. We've never had a good relationship anyway. I've had major thoughts of cutting half of my family out of my life completely... but then the pangs of guilt come on and I just can't do it. I can however minimize crap. Okay, okay... I know she will never read this so I can come here and vent away about her. Don't think I'm some crappy daughter please, I'm not. I'm just a girl that had a very tough childhood and my mother certainly didn't make it any easier or better, she refuses to accept her responsibility in my crappy childhood, then she leeches crap from me by way of guilt (it works good btw for her). So ummm yeah there is a lot there and lately I've had my fill.