Update on George and T

So we saw George Clooney up close and personal. He smiled and said hello and walked into the covered area. He has so much yummy hot goodness mmmmmmm I was about 2-3 feet from him seriously!! Oh dear it made for a good day.

Then I finished work and went to T's. At first I gave him his things, I talked about the non-relationship thing we had to talk about and I went to get my things. I wasn't going to talk the rest he didn't seem receptive... he looked like a mess too btw. A large portion of my stuff is located in his bathroom (curling iron... toiletries you get it), his brother (they are roommates) was in there showering. Darn it stuck or leave it, I didn't want to leave some of my toiletries my favorite lotin and soap was in there (I know stupid!).

Soooo I brought it up.. I asked why. We talked quite a bit and then we decided he was being extremely stupid (not in those words) I gave him hell too and he feels ashamed for the way things went down and how much he hurt me. We also decided that maybe we can work it out and made a plan and some words of honesty. It was the first time I heard him say all my helping him out was overwhelming for him (well it was for me too but I was trying to be a good girlfriend) so we decided to 'cool off' for a bit, he will get better at vocalizing things and I will listen to his needs and vice versa, we will see each other less but he realizes my need for plans and he will respect that and make them with me instead of the on a whim thing. There is a lot more but that's all between us anyway... maybe I've said too much already but it is here now.

So that is it for now. I'll have to keep you updated on the progress.

Next week I leave for British Columbia I'll be gone from the 4th-12th (my plane lands at 11:59 pm on the 11th so I can hardly say I'll be back then lol). I may have some time to pop in here or I may not but if I don't that is where I am with my dear sweet friend.

I'm going to see him (T) today.... Oh and George Clooney too!!!

after work, if he is home. He said he should be and to contact him.

I have some important documents of his and he has some things I can pick up. I forgot something at my house (and it really is out of the way) but I'll give it to him some other time I suppose, really its his brothers and I could always meet up with his brother's girlfriend (we chit chat outside of the two of them sometimes) and give it to her too.

I'd like to talk to him, I'm going to feel out if it is too soon for him to do so... I know I'm asking for more heartache I just can't help it. If I don't think it is the right time yet then I'm going to discuss the one thing that I have to discuss with him that is more "business" type of thing and that's it. When I leave I'll just say that I'm here and if I want that I still love him.

I think he has a lot to sort out, I think he thinks he lost his job and can't take me out and do things for me, and he thinks he isn't good enough for me (the text messages from the other night say it all without saying it outright). That isn't true but he needs to work that out for himself a reminder though that I'm here basically that's it should be enough to make him think about it a bit at least and maybe he will want to work on those things himself. Maybe things will still work out I really don't know but I refuse to be the person I was during my last break-up. I refuse to crumble and turn into a crazy person. I refuse to live my life as if he was my only option... even though I have tears as I post this, and that's okay, I refuse though to let it overtake me.

Yesterday I got my nails done I really needed the boost and it was $30 well spent, this weekend a friend and I are going out to get drinks and go dancing. I'll be diva'ing it up. I've got these one silver shoes that always make me feel really good and all my guy friends are like dang girl when I wear em so those will be a good boost. I need some attention and I'll get it darn it! It always feels good after a break-up to be hit on.

My back burner friend with bennies guy has been a great support and hasn't mentioned that at all (thankfully because right now I'd sock him in the nuts) I don't want him in that way and honestly I don't want anyone that way. I learned with my last relationship (at almost 30) that I love myself more and sex is so much better with that love that I just don't want meaningless or semi-meaningless sex anymore. Plus, you weed out the better men that way I found too. What a thought. R (the friend) is a better man just not looking for the same things I am ie. marriage, he'd love a lifelong commitment in separate homes I think lol sorry not happening. However, he is a great source to lean on whenever I need him to be and a great friend to have a drink with and talk you up and I oh so enjoy a going to sporting events with him over almost anyone else.

Oh and a cheerer upper, I get to see George Clooney today he's filming where I work *swoon* Maybe I can get a picture and his autograph, we see all sorts of cool celebs at work but this is my first time seeing a filming here at work where I can get close possibly and George is worth getting close to.