Weddings...

Weddings have a way of making me typically feel crummy. More often then not I've not even had a boyfriend at the time and I usually respond just myself. So I get stuck by myself at the table while they do all the couples dancing things and calling people out there. Not only that but then they have the throwing of the bouquet which for some unknown reason married people LOVE to oust the single ones. I always end up feeling like the spotlight is all over me (when in reality I know its all over the new couple but work with me here).

Last night though, I went to quite possibly one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever been to. I am attached now so I had my boyfriend with me, but he doesn't really do dancing so it isn't like we would have been out there for those dances but we aren't married... yet (ha ha ha) anyway so we'd have sat those out even if he did dance.... but they didn't have that kind of dance, then they also didn't do the garter belt nor did they do the throwing of the bouquet. You have no idea how much more enjoyable this wedding was to me because of those things. Somehow at least in my family (read there are a select few) someone always says something to me or does something to make me feel like I was this big, fat, ugly loser that no man wanted to be with. They didn't SAY that but what they did say made me go to that place. There was a point there where it seemed everyone was getting married, all my cousins, all my friends, all my co-workers.

One day I read an article about being single that another single mom friend at work gave to me (this was a few years ago). I felt changed and renewed, I didn't even want no stinking man so why would I let a few things said at a silly ole wedding bother me... then I went to another wedding and those silly ole things DID bother me, old feelings don't die very easily do they? See part of my feelings stem from I was never married to the kiddo's dad I've never experienced marriage or a wedding or anything and it brings up ugly feelings when people ask stupid questions at a wedding in fact... I've always wanted to answer the one about "Soooo, when are we going to come to one of these for you?" with "When you remove your head from your arse and stop asking such dumb questions" or "Oh... I had one, I didn't think I wanted you there so I didn't invite you. He's around here somewhere... where oh where did he go, oh well maybe you can meet him some other time" or "I'm saving myself for me, I don't have time for anyone else".... something quick and witty and just rude. I'm really not a rude person but just once I'd love to be lol

Last night though... I didn't want to leave the wedding at any point, it was just fun and no pressure as a single person.

I know I have gone to a few weddings attached before or with just dates and I always still left with that 'I'm a big, fat, ugly loser' feeling so it isn't that I was attached... unless it is because I feel that content feeling with who I am with and where we are going.

I wonder is it that content feeling? Is it that I've grown and I'm just able to appreciate weddings for the true beauty they are? Orrrrrr is it the fact that the reception didn't have activities that involved separating the singles out from the married couples? I don't know but I do know that I enjoyed myself and was sad to leave (I had to be at work by 5:30 am today... YAWN).

So as a single parent.... how do weddings make you feel? What do you love about them? What do you hate about them?

Looking for a new rental...

So we are looking at homes to rent, currently the kiddo and I are in a one bedroom apartment, but... we are looking at 2+ bedrooms and will be having another paying person with us so we can afford a bit more :)

I would love to rent a house but they may be a bit out of our budget about $800/mo is our limit but I'd like to keep it at $600-$700/mo unless we find a beauty or something with a huge yard or something.

So far this is what we have found:

This we are looking at either Tuesday or Wednesday. So far by pictures it is my favorite that is readily available.

We want to look at this but the landlord hasn't answered email or phone we drove by it its still up for rent, pictures don't do it justice I don't think but oh well the yard really has great potential and Sabrina could ride her bike back and forth between her dad's house and this place which automatically makes it 100% ideal.

I'm going to call about this one today too & this one but it is REALLLY REALLY SMALL almost as small as a 1 bedroom apt so I doubt we would like it.

We have a few apartments in mind that are really gorgeous but we'd like to find a house that we could potentially buy if the landlord would let us if at all possible.

Rentals are few and far between even apartments are here in the school district. I found a total of two houses for rent the one with the youtube video and one that was already rented out that really was the PERFECT home for us, I was so disappointed :( here it is if you want to see it you'll immediately see why I loved it. Who knows maybe it will be up for rent again soon, I gave the guy my number just in case to keep us in mind anytime it comes up for rent. He also told me he had a daughter with a house for rent in the same area 2 bedrooms but no basement for slightly less than that one. He was supposed to give her my number but I haven't heard anything yet.

We do have some time but if we find the right place that is just perfect we are going to take it, for now we are getting ideas of what is available and for what prices. I'm finding there aren't any rentals really in the school district, I found city stats (for our city, there are 3 that farm into the school because they are so small) and only something like 12% of the population are renters, which means there aren't a lot available... good thing I have 3 "cities" to choose from (I put that in quotations because using that word just seems funny they are more like teeny tiny towns).

Softball

My daughter started softball for her first time this year at almost 12. At this age they play fast pitch so she has a lot to learn to catch up to the other girls. She is doing it slowly but surely.

I had to post today, because they won!!! Also though, because she hit the ball TWICE and got home TWICE, she did strike out once and also she got out once but man it is soooo cool to see the smile on that kid's face when she comes back after she hit it and even got out let alone making it home. Her team is such good sports they cheer hard for her when she hits the ball harder than any other player even when she gets out after hitting it. Its really cool because they are so much more advanced than she is and sometimes she really 'drops the ball' when they could have won but they never ever let her see their disappointment in her. What a great team huh?

They do little cheers through the whole game... my favorite

"(players name) baby, you look so good to me, you're driving me crazy come on hit the ball for me. Oh (players name) baby come on hit the ball for me..." it goes on. Its just something you never hear in a boys game. Girls are great aren't they?

What kind of parent (or single parent really...) are you?

I hear all the time different variations of what makes one a single parent.

Back in the day a single parent would basically mean parenting totally alone ie. a single mom typically where the dad got every other weekend time with the children and sometimes took it and sometimes didn't.

Now you hear the term single mom/single dad/single parent all over the place. Military spouses call themselves single parents when the other parent is deployed, dads who have EOW (Extended over weekend) and one day a week parenting time call themselves single dads, moms who share joint custody with the dad call themselves single moms. Everyone without or even sometimes with a spouse are single parents.

So to you what makes a single parent? What makes you a single parent? I'm intrigued to know.

For me it is the fact that I am unmarried, parenting a child... I do have to share custody and I do have to co-parent but at my home I parent alone there is no one to pick up the slack or help with the bills, there is no one who does any of that but me. Now I do have a boyfriend and he does help with all the slack stuff when he is here and I have never had that before so its very new to me and I can't believe how much easier life is when he is around to help with the laundry, or start dinner, do the dishes.... I have to be very careful not to take too much advantage of this because I feel it creep up all the time like ohhh I'll just leave that for T he'll be here soon before I know it I'm half finishing everything because I know he'll help... so I have to catch myself and say no... this is my job and he loves helping me because it makes me happy but it isn't his job.

Oh boy, I kept going in my true fashion huh? lol I have a tendency to over explain ha!!!

I'm still around

Still sort of taking a break... reading and responding to others blogs. Just wanted to check in. I am still blogging on my financial blog because I need the accountability but other than that I just don't have it in me to update about life, I did and planned on it then more crapola happened lol isn't that always the case?

Keeping busy and trying to fit in some me time when I can squeeze it in. Hopefully by next week I'll be back on track and posting again :)

Taking a break

I'm around, but not posting much. I have had some issues come up that are making life pretty stressful and also getting less sleep.

Last nights stressful moment, getting a call from my mom saying her Blood Pressure was 75/45 and I had to call her an ambulance and rush over there. When paramedics got there it was 100/60 not sure if something was wrong with the way she was doing it or not but 100/60 is low too especially for someone who usually has high Blood Pressure. She's also having trouble regulating her mental health medications and that has lead to some scary stuff as well. I'm wondering if its just the meds or if she is going into some early Alzhiemers its hard to say with someone with her history.

I'm also busy with the kiddo last week and this week has me having to be somewhere with her every single night this week. Softball, band, GS, end of year stuff has us running crazy.

Keep us in your thoughts please.

Let the talking begin.... Tweens/Teens and cell phones.

My daughter has never been much a phone talker. In a way she still isn't EXCEPT when it comes to her BFF of course then she can talk, and talk, and talk on the phone. Or just sit there and listen to each other giggle.

The talking it doesn't stop. We enacted some rules it seems she hasn't been following so now there will be new restrictions on her phone use and how to keep her off of it when she shouldn't be on it.

Her phone is checked periodically she knows this. Her records everything... so when she'd been really good about it we've laxed. I check on her the other night its a school night and it is 10:30 pm and she was on her phone... TALKING to her friend.

New rule, phone goes up at night. Why didn't we think of that before? Well she's been responsible and shown we didn't need to.

I actually find it kind of amusing but don't tell her that... I gave her the stern face and the lecture. Really though, did she think she could hide it? I went and checked and she's been doing it for a couple of weeks which means her dad hasn't been checking records lately either. They have a new rule there too because... da da da da... she got caught there too. Is it odd I find it so amusing? Because this post it makes me chuckle.

Also it is sort of refreshing to see her have some normal behavior for her age group and know it is normal behavior. For so long we had so many troubles it is kind of nice. Weird in a way yes but not uncommon for parents with kids who have had/have special needs and issues with behavior.

So what are your cell phone rules for your kids?