Sunday, November 2, 2008

Fishing was fun but...

It would seem on the surface that casting my pole into the sea roused up several fish. I let some go right away; a few were tossed back after getting to know them via the phone. There is one I’m still needing to let go but not entirely sure how, and then there is M as well… need to let him go but he’s from ages ago and I think we are just friends but he invited me for dinner and a movie at his place… that’s not a friends thing is it?

Anyway that brings me to T, T was my date who was a friends neighbor. The date that has turned into 5 dates and the reason I need to let go of J (tossed back though about a week ago), M, N and probably remove my POF profile. This is something I will be bringing up during our next conversation. Although, I’m not sure how well in the hurt feelings department that is going to go. See I’m pretty confident that all along I’ve been T’s only fish. I will gently remind him I guess that we never discussed commitment further than we both were looking for that.

Now is the time to have a discussion I think, because… well because I think you can all guess why. SEX. Yes, I’d like to have sex with this man. I don’t mean I have to right now but eventually I’d like this man in my bed doing the deed. I don’t think I am capable of having sex with one man while I date a multitude of others. I’ve been quite the promiscuous little vixen in my life but I decided that was behind me a while back and I’ve mostly stuck to it. I feel that T and I have a connection, the dating is ready to take to the next level, and I see it going somewhere (he does too he has said as much). T has put everything in my hands, has been patient and understanding and has said that I am in control. Way to put the pressure on T!! Thanks ;)

Now, all of this being said: I have also felt myself get giddy over this man, that stupid giddy feeling that I dread with a passion. Giddy makes me stupid!! The man causes those stupid butterflies that every girl it seems swoon over and I roll my eyes at. I’ve gotten caught up in giddy before… it leads to trouble lemme tell ya. So I’m trying to be rational through the butterflies and giddiness and keep my head on straight. I don’t want to be the girl that calls every hour and says “ohhhh I miss you boo boo so so much” like an hour after he leaves. That is just barftastic. I’ve been there before; I have no plans of going back. I think it is relatively normal to feel giddy and therefore want to act in stupid ways especially for women. I think I’m doing fairly well at combating that desire to act like some swooning, smitten, school girl. Even if secretly I am a swooning, smitten schoolgirl (hey and I’m in college so I can claim schoolgirl easily).


jeanie said...

lol - I think I need a diagram for the first bit.

Just remember - you need apologise to noone if you find someone that tickles your fancy unless you have made a comittment to that someone.

And enjoy the tingles.

lol - my word verfication is "bogostra" - sounds like the sort of meal you share with someone you don't want to continue with!!

Kari said...

Ha, I might need a diagram too. Whoa, who ever knew there were so many fish to my one worm on my pole?

I've been told some very nice things by some very nice men that boosted some of my self esteem quite a bit. Or maybe boasted it lol I've also laughed like I haven't laughed in a long while and smiled a lot.

In the end T makes me laugh the best, smile the most, is real and not fake, and makes me feel good. Not to mention the giddy school girl thing. Although I'm so not wearing a schoolgirl uniform... well yet anyway lol

"bogostra" huh? Well then "bogostra" it is for M,N, and POF.