Sunday, November 16, 2008

Rejection.. I hate it

So, I've been avoiding the rejection of the guys I needed to let down. Two of them went away on their own when I flaked out on them.

M, I didn't really flake out on because he wasn't contacting me and when he did it was a text here or there inquiring about how I was doing ect... We are both single parents, he is primary and sole of his two children and we are both very busy. When we met ages ago we just wanted to date and date other people. He lives an hour away in another state so we texted and talked only occassionally and then went out even less than that as our schedules allowed. We had great fun together but I never felt any chemistry with him, who knows maybe he didn't either and felt we were just friends too.

Anyway, Monday he called and wanted to get together sometime this month and also wanted me to go with him and his kids and some others to go see a Christmas lights thing next month (he invited Sabrina too). Boy, he asks early lol but he understands the schemantics behind being a parent and getting out. He's a really great guy, just not for me which sucked when I realized that but he was a great companion and provided great company.

So I sent him an email (cringe, I am a coward what can I say?) in response to his text yesterday that I never replied to and told him my battery was dead (great now I'm a liar too).. Why is it that when you have the most men at your disposal is when you don't want them there? So is an email okay for this purpose?

Here is what I sent:

Hi M (name removed obviously),

How are you?

I got your
text messages late last night but I was exhausted and went to bed since I had to
be up early for work today. My battery was dead most of the day and my charger
was at home so I didn't get them until I charged it and was ready for

I needed to let you know though that I have been dating and
have decided to see where it goes with one person in particular. I'm not sure
where it will go for sure but I wanted to give this a chance and decided not to
date other people anymore. That doesn't mean I can't have friends, but I need to
be clear as well to be fair.

If you still want to talk on the phone
and be friends let me know, if not I completely understand that as well. I have
enjoyed your company and you are a really nice guy, it would be great to remain
friends as I think we both have a bit we can support each other on (parenting
for one thing).

I hope this message finds you well and I'm sorry
that I didn't respond last night.

Talk to you soon!
Sooo was I wrong to do it this way? I just sent it so no going back now.

Tell me, what have you done in the past?


Rachel said...

You gave more courtesy than I've been known to...
My ex husband found out our marriage was over when he came home from work one day and discovered that I had moved to another state.
I've perfected the 'dear john' letter on several boyfriends since of them actually named John.

Guess if you're a coward, I'm the next step below coward. Oh well, to quote my brother: 'it is what it is.'

jeanie said...

lol - see, dating over here is a much different animal than yours, no doubt!!

Nice letter - I don't think you need to explain yourself and apologise as much, but you did well.

Kari said...

lol Rachel... I much prefer your way of doing it. I might need classes one day, if I do you are so elected my instructor.

Jeanie, I think I'm just too nice is really what it is. Rejection is so not something I do well with.

Well, I haven't heard from him. Nature of the beast I guess. I did really enjoy his company and it is too bad I couldn't enjoy him on other levels than friendship he's a great catch, not for me but a great catch. Ahhh well.. can't befriend them all. Chapter closed I guess.

Single Mom Seeking said...

I applaud you for your honesty! I think it was incredibly kind to be so open.

In due time, if you want to pursue friendship with him, go for it... I've made a couple of really good guy friends when romance wasn't there. But it took a good long break for both of us.