Middle School is tough on mom.. I plead temporary insanity

So my daughter started her first day of middle school today.

This is so much harder than Kindergarden was. In kindergaren I knew she was the wee little one but there were so many people that thought awww they are so cute and took care of them. In 6th grade though... yeahhhhhh not so much.

They are given a tour of the school quickly then given their schedules and they are let loose. No one shows them to their buses or even directs them where to go.

I have a hard time letting go so I went up to the school early before dismisal and watched from the parking lot to make sure my wee little 6th grader knew what she was doing without knowing mom was actually there. My attempts to go all incognito failed and I was busted!!! Ahhh we'll get to that in a bit.

Anyway I spot my 6th grader coming out of the school, she's totally petrified and alone. Try to imagine all this with me fellow mothers. I see here frantically looking around for the right bus, and she can't find it. I can see her classic fidgiting signs that mean she might loose it at any moment. I am sitting in my car with tears streaming down my face as I watch this because I know in my head I can't rescue her. All my instincts tell me to go run to her as fast as I can and rescue her from the pits of middle school and all the scary things. All of a sudden I can't see her... I know she must have gotten on "a" bus... but which bus? Oh no!!! A new set of panic sets in... what if she got on the wrong bus? All of this knowing full well she has a cell phone in her bag and can call home. The thing is does she know when to call home or will she panic like mom? Who knows unless we test it out.

See before all of this I find out there is major bus trouble and that on the first day of 6th grade my cousins son got all messed up for the same reasons and didn't make it on the bus home. This added into first time middle schooler mom and the panic I saw in my daughters face as well as the tears she fought back after she thought I left her in this big bad school this morning to fend for herself.

As well it wasn't that long ago I was a new middle schooler entering the sixth grade. One of the benefits sometimes of teenaged motherhood is that I KNOW when things are going on with my kid because it wasnt' that long ago that I was there. I'll know if she tries to get high, or she sneaks out, I know all the tricks. The downside I remember still all those feelings and I have moments of insanity where I think I can spare her all that somehow.

Oh and that I was busted note up there somewhere. It was confirmed my daughter was on the correct bus when she got off of it because she saw me and was confused. I directed her to get back on the bus, and to go to her father's as planned. I had to go to work.

Lesson here... it is likely much harder on mom when she makes it harder on herself. I'm sure my daughter would have been fine and I wouldn't have caused myself the emotional upheavel if I had just stayed home.

Stay tuned... for more middle school stories... especially from this week as somehow I think it will take mom that long to adjust along with daughter.

Hey, at least I wasn't that mom that I saw taking pictures in front of the entire Middle School of my new middle schooler's first day of school talking about how cute it was. That mom fer sure embaressed her kid.