A post on a board I recently joined reminded me about something I used to do with my daughter, Toothbrush Duty. Toothbrush duty is when you get in trouble and mom hands you a toothbrush and a gives you a job to clean.
Kiddo's mouth and attitude really stink lately and I've been pulling my hair out. Duh' toothbrush duty time has been needed for a long time here now. I need to get a little more creative though now that she is older. The toothbrush hung for far too long.
Do your kids respond to chores as their discipline? Really, she has a set of chores that I expect her to do when told and oddly enough she doesn't give me much lip about that. She may moan and groan and say 'but we just did that last week' (or yesterday, or whatever), as if it never needs to be done again. She really used to loathe toothbrush duty and I forget why it went away, maybe she got better and I got lazy after that dunno, but its coming back.
What do you do for the mouthiness? Further, does it work?
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15 years ago
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As you know, mine is a few years younger than yours, so I sit and wait for the answers from YOU.
Ceara has developed a set of really bad manners, I guess it's now 'cool' in 5th grade circles to belch and fart loudly.
I started taking $1 from her bank every time she performs a 'body function' without excusing herself, she improved some. But now she just cranks one out and says 'excuse me' right away, but it doesn't stop her from doing it in the first place, so I'm thinking of coming up with something more vile for her punishment...I'm open to suggestions.
Well darn you two!!
Ahhhh Rachel, my 6th grader is still into doing that and on top of it the 'excuse me' function was lost on her recently too. What's up with that anyway? I even tried the 'gasp' you are a girl, girls don't do that on her... nope!! Although I don't really believe in that gender mumbo bumbo, I thought it might work so I used it. We also have taken to being under the age of two again and forgotten our pleases and thank yous.
Oddly taking money from her for leaving the lights on has worked. It started out at a quarter and has steadily moved up until it worked the magic amount at the moment is 75 cents per offense. Hmmm... maybe I'm onto something here for that.
Taking away things seems to never work with my kid, although I hear it works with older teens and their cell phones. This I will have to keep in mind.
Don't get me wrong, I really do have a pretty good kid. I just wish the whining and sassying would STOP!! Or at least get a whole lot better.
I don't think making chores a punishment is a good thing. It's just going to train them to hate housekeeping, they'll be living in a pig sty as an adult, and you'll be wondering why, since she wasn't raised that way.
As far as curbing unwanted behavior...I tell the oldest that whatever she did is disrespectful to me. Usually that works, but she is 16.
I actually ignore the youngest when she is misbehaving. Get up, and walk away ignore her. She can't stand it, and usually comes around and apologizes. Of course, she's 4, so I don't know how that would work on Sabrina.
I've thought of that too Jen, I didn't want to make her hate cleaning and all of that. That is why I thought doing a chore in a different way might work. I know it did when she was little.
I've tried the ignoring she gets louder and more annoying until you acknowledge it in some way. I could ignore her for over an hour and she'll keep going louder and louder. I live in an apartment I can only allow her to get so loud before I'm going to start getting noise complaints. We actually tried this after her old therapist suggested it.
Maybe I need to look at some parenting courses for tween parents. Dunno... but I'm going to do a search. A friend of mine suggested a book about hugging porcupines or some such thing, parenting tweens/teens.
I appreciate what Jennifer says here. Right on.
Mine is younger than yours... but the sassy attitude has really become somethin' lately.
I first give her a chance to try again: "Why don't you try that again in a different tone and voice?"
If that doesn't work, I remind her that being demanding and bossy with me doesn't work... and there are consequences. Lately, it's taking away the Nintendo DS.
LOL @ jeanie and Rachel. Your comments made me laugh out loud.
Ok, my daughter is 16 so what works for me may not work for you (yet), but all I need to do is give her "the look" and ask "who do you think you're talking to?" Within seconds, the tone, behavior, mood, etc is changed as if it never happened. She knows I will NOT hesitate to pop her in the mouth.
However, I must say I like the idea of "toothbrush duty!" The thought of it is really intriguing, but only if it's for a chore that she isn't normally responsible for and absolutely HATES. For ex: I tell my daughter if she ever misses the bus for school, she'll have to stay home and spring clean the house (i.e. the entire house including window sills, baseboards, closets, etc.). In 3 years of HS, she's only missed the bus once. LOL I might try the toothbrush idea on the kitchen and bathroom floors. *evil grin*
Alot of good things to think about that's fo sure.
SMS, that try it again, oh boy remind me to tell you the try it again story sometime. It's funny now. Although now that we know what it means it does work sometimes.
FF, that's pretty much how "toothbrush duty" works. Ha! Alot of spring cleaning type of things that aren't done that often plus things I myself hate to do. Minus the toilet seat because yeah well lets just say that is cleaned like at least 2-3 times a week, because I'm a freak like that.
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